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Question
Posted by: Lolly | 2009/12/16

Older woman, younger man (Need ur opinion pls)

Im 31yo female recently met a guy whom i fell inlove with. I thought he was 2yrs younger than me till he told me he was actually 9 yrs younger. We both love each other dearly but im scared cause he' s so young, i worry about what will people, family and friends say if they find out.

Should i break it off now and be miserable or wait for people to break us apart?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageAgeing and Sexuality expert

Society constructs the rules , the norms whereby we live. At this present time our society deems it "normal" for a man to be older than a woman in a relationship. It used to be based on a practical purpose - men earn more money, should take care of women as women were never expected to work or be able to take care of themselves. So being with an older man meant that a woman was "cared" for.
We know the truth is very different. Today women can take care of themselves- in fact it is men who harass, rape and violate us so simply as he is a man, an older man does not guarantee us anything, Women must be able to take care of themselves and choose partners today based on very different reasons.
If your man is a good man, a man who respects, considers, cares and is kind to you. If he fulfils needs unique to you then be brave enough in your commitment to him.
By 31 years old you should no longer be so dependent on outsiders for approval. Its time to wing it on your own. If you feel fully certain that this man is good for and to you, then you will "sell" him as such to your family ; If you present yourself as shy, ambivalent and nervous about this relationship so your family will respond to this and discourage you. It really is on your hands. There are no guarantees , irrespective of age, but when a good thing thing comes along, nurture it and deal with the difficulties that arise.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

16
Our users say:
Posted by: anon | 2010/01/15

dam, she got hicups!

Reply to anon
Posted by: Ageing and Sexuality expert | 2009/12/20

Society constructs the rules , the norms whereby we live. At this present time our society deems it "normal" for a man to be older than a woman in a relationship. It used to be based on a practical purpose - men earn more money, should take care of women as women were never expected to work or be able to take care of themselves. So being with an older man meant that a woman was "cared" for.
We know the truth is very different. Today women can take care of themselves- in fact it is men who harass, rape and violate us so simply as he is a man, an older man does not guarantee us anything, Women must be able to take care of themselves and choose partners today based on very different reasons.
If your man is a good man, a man who respects, considers, cares and is kind to you. If he fulfils needs unique to you then be brave enough in your commitment to him.
By 31 years old you should no longer be so dependent on outsiders for approval. Its time to wing it on your own. If you feel fully certain that this man is good for and to you, then you will "sell" him as such to your family ; If you present yourself as shy, ambivalent and nervous about this relationship so your family will respond to this and discourage you. It really is on your hands. There are no guarantees , irrespective of age, but when a good thing thing comes along, nurture it and deal with the difficulties that arise.

Reply to Ageing and Sexuality expert
Posted by: Ageing and Sexuality expert | 2009/12/20

Society constructs the rules , the norms whereby we live. At this present time our society deems it "normal" for a man to be older than a woman in a relationship. It used to be based on a practical purpose - men earn more money, should take care of women as women were never expected to work or be able to take care of themselves. So being with an older man meant that a woman was "cared" for.
We know the truth is very different. Today women can take care of themselves- in fact it is men who harass, rape and violate us so simply as he is a man, an older man does not guarantee us anything, Women must be able to take care of themselves and choose partners today based on very different reasons.
If your man is a good man, a man who respects, considers, cares and is kind to you. If he fulfils needs unique to you then be brave enough in your commitment to him.
By 31 years old you should no longer be so dependent on outsiders for approval. Its time to wing it on your own. If you feel fully certain that this man is good for and to you, then you will "sell" him as such to your family ; If you present yourself as shy, ambivalent and nervous about this relationship so your family will respond to this and discourage you. It really is on your hands. There are no guarantees , irrespective of age, but when a good thing thing comes along, nurture it and deal with the difficulties that arise.

Reply to Ageing and Sexuality expert
Posted by: Ageing and Sexuality expert | 2009/12/20

Society constructs the rules , the norms whereby we live. At this present time our society deems it "normal" for a man to be older than a woman in a relationship. It used to be based on a practical purpose - men earn more money, should take care of women as women were never expected to work or be able to take care of themselves. So being with an older man meant that a woman was "cared" for.
We know the truth is very different. Today women can take care of themselves- in fact it is men who harass, rape and violate us so simply as he is a man, an older man does not guarantee us anything, Women must be able to take care of themselves and choose partners today based on very different reasons.
If your man is a good man, a man who respects, considers, cares and is kind to you. If he fulfils needs unique to you then be brave enough in your commitment to him.
By 31 years old you should no longer be so dependent on outsiders for approval. Its time to wing it on your own. If you feel fully certain that this man is good for and to you, then you will "sell" him as such to your family ; If you present yourself as shy, ambivalent and nervous about this relationship so your family will respond to this and discourage you. It really is on your hands. There are no guarantees , irrespective of age, but when a good thing thing comes along, nurture it and deal with the difficulties that arise.

Reply to Ageing and Sexuality expert
Posted by: Ageing and Sexuality expert | 2009/12/20

Society constructs the rules , the norms whereby we live. At this present time our society deems it "normal" for a man to be older than a woman in a relationship. It used to be based on a practical purpose - men earn more money, should take care of women as women were never expected to work or be able to take care of themselves. So being with an older man meant that a woman was "cared" for.
We know the truth is very different. Today women can take care of themselves- in fact it is men who harass, rape and violate us so simply as he is a man, an older man does not guarantee us anything, Women must be able to take care of themselves and choose partners today based on very different reasons.
If your man is a good man, a man who respects, considers, cares and is kind to you. If he fulfils needs unique to you then be brave enough in your commitment to him.
By 31 years old you should no longer be so dependent on outsiders for approval. Its time to wing it on your own. If you feel fully certain that this man is good for and to you, then you will "sell" him as such to your family ; If you present yourself as shy, ambivalent and nervous about this relationship so your family will respond to this and discourage you. It really is on your hands. There are no guarantees , irrespective of age, but when a good thing thing comes along, nurture it and deal with the difficulties that arise.

Reply to Ageing and Sexuality expert
Posted by: Ageing and Sexuality expert | 2009/12/20

Society constructs the rules , the norms whereby we live. At this present time our society deems it "normal" for a man to be older than a woman in a relationship. It used to be based on a practical purpose - men earn more money, should take care of women as women were never expected to work or be able to take care of themselves. So being with an older man meant that a woman was "cared" for.
We know the truth is very different. Today women can take care of themselves- in fact it is men who harass, rape and violate us so simply as he is a man, an older man does not guarantee us anything, Women must be able to take care of themselves and choose partners today based on very different reasons.
If your man is a good man, a man who respects, considers, cares and is kind to you. If he fulfils needs unique to you then be brave enough in your commitment to him.
By 31 years old you should no longer be so dependent on outsiders for approval. Its time to wing it on your own. If you feel fully certain that this man is good for and to you, then you will "sell" him as such to your family ; If you present yourself as shy, ambivalent and nervous about this relationship so your family will respond to this and discourage you. It really is on your hands. There are no guarantees , irrespective of age, but when a good thing thing comes along, nurture it and deal with the difficulties that arise.

Reply to Ageing and Sexuality expert
Posted by: Ageing and Sexuality expert | 2009/12/20

Society constructs the rules , the norms whereby we live. At this present time our society deems it "normal" for a man to be older than a woman in a relationship. It used to be based on a practical purpose - men earn more money, should take care of women as women were never expected to work or be able to take care of themselves. So being with an older man meant that a woman was "cared" for.
We know the truth is very different. Today women can take care of themselves- in fact it is men who harass, rape and violate us so simply as he is a man, an older man does not guarantee us anything, Women must be able to take care of themselves and choose partners today based on very different reasons.
If your man is a good man, a man who respects, considers, cares and is kind to you. If he fulfils needs unique to you then be brave enough in your commitment to him.
By 31 years old you should no longer be so dependent on outsiders for approval. Its time to wing it on your own. If you feel fully certain that this man is good for and to you, then you will "sell" him as such to your family ; If you present yourself as shy, ambivalent and nervous about this relationship so your family will respond to this and discourage you. It really is on your hands. There are no guarantees , irrespective of age, but when a good thing thing comes along, nurture it and deal with the difficulties that arise.

Reply to Ageing and Sexuality expert
Posted by: Ageing and Sexuality expert | 2009/12/20

Society constructs the rules , the norms whereby we live. At this present time our society deems it "normal" for a man to be older than a woman in a relationship. It used to be based on a practical purpose - men earn more money, should take care of women as women were never expected to work or be able to take care of themselves. So being with an older man meant that a woman was "cared" for.
We know the truth is very different. Today women can take care of themselves- in fact it is men who harass, rape and violate us so simply as he is a man, an older man does not guarantee us anything, Women must be able to take care of themselves and choose partners today based on very different reasons.
If your man is a good man, a man who respects, considers, cares and is kind to you. If he fulfils needs unique to you then be brave enough in your commitment to him.
By 31 years old you should no longer be so dependent on outsiders for approval. Its time to wing it on your own. If you feel fully certain that this man is good for and to you, then you will "sell" him as such to your family ; If you present yourself as shy, ambivalent and nervous about this relationship so your family will respond to this and discourage you. It really is on your hands. There are no guarantees , irrespective of age, but when a good thing thing comes along, nurture it and deal with the difficulties that arise.

Reply to Ageing and Sexuality expert
Posted by: Ageing and Sexuality expert | 2009/12/20

Society constructs the rules , the norms whereby we live. At this present time our society deems it "normal" for a man to be older than a woman in a relationship. It used to be based on a practical purpose - men earn more money, should take care of women as women were never expected to work or be able to take care of themselves. So being with an older man meant that a woman was "cared" for.
We know the truth is very different. Today women can take care of themselves- in fact it is men who harass, rape and violate us so simply as he is a man, an older man does not guarantee us anything, Women must be able to take care of themselves and choose partners today based on very different reasons.
If your man is a good man, a man who respects, considers, cares and is kind to you. If he fulfils needs unique to you then be brave enough in your commitment to him.
By 31 years old you should no longer be so dependent on outsiders for approval. Its time to wing it on your own. If you feel fully certain that this man is good for and to you, then you will "sell" him as such to your family ; If you present yourself as shy, ambivalent and nervous about this relationship so your family will respond to this and discourage you. It really is on your hands. There are no guarantees , irrespective of age, but when a good thing thing comes along, nurture it and deal with the difficulties that arise.

Reply to Ageing and Sexuality expert
Posted by: Ageing and Sexuality expert | 2009/12/20

Society constructs the rules , the norms whereby we live. At this present time our society deems it "normal" for a man to be older than a woman in a relationship. It used to be based on a practical purpose - men earn more money, should take care of women as women were never expected to work or be able to take care of themselves. So being with an older man meant that a woman was "cared" for.
We know the truth is very different. Today women can take care of themselves- in fact it is men who harass, rape and violate us so simply as he is a man, an older man does not guarantee us anything, Women must be able to take care of themselves and choose partners today based on very different reasons.
If your man is a good man, a man who respects, considers, cares and is kind to you. If he fulfils needs unique to you then be brave enough in your commitment to him.
By 31 years old you should no longer be so dependent on outsiders for approval. Its time to wing it on your own. If you feel fully certain that this man is good for and to you, then you will "sell" him as such to your family ; If you present yourself as shy, ambivalent and nervous about this relationship so your family will respond to this and discourage you. It really is on your hands. There are no guarantees , irrespective of age, but when a good thing thing comes along, nurture it and deal with the difficulties that arise.

Reply to Ageing and Sexuality expert
Posted by: Ageing and Sexuality expert | 2009/12/20

Society constructs the rules , the norms whereby we live. At this present time our society deems it "normal" for a man to be older than a woman in a relationship. It used to be based on a practical purpose - men earn more money, should take care of women as women were never expected to work or be able to take care of themselves. So being with an older man meant that a woman was "cared" for.
We know the truth is very different. Today women can take care of themselves- in fact it is men who harass, rape and violate us so simply as he is a man, an older man does not guarantee us anything, Women must be able to take care of themselves and choose partners today based on very different reasons.
If your man is a good man, a man who respects, considers, cares and is kind to you. If he fulfils needs unique to you then be brave enough in your commitment to him.
By 31 years old you should no longer be so dependent on outsiders for approval. Its time to wing it on your own. If you feel fully certain that this man is good for and to you, then you will "sell" him as such to your family ; If you present yourself as shy, ambivalent and nervous about this relationship so your family will respond to this and discourage you. It really is on your hands. There are no guarantees , irrespective of age, but when a good thing thing comes along, nurture it and deal with the difficulties that arise.

Reply to Ageing and Sexuality expert
Posted by: Ageing and Sexuality expert | 2009/12/20

Society constructs the rules , the norms whereby we live. At this present time our society deems it "normal" for a man to be older than a woman in a relationship. It used to be based on a practical purpose - men earn more money, should take care of women as women were never expected to work or be able to take care of themselves. So being with an older man meant that a woman was "cared" for.
We know the truth is very different. Today women can take care of themselves- in fact it is men who harass, rape and violate us so simply as he is a man, an older man does not guarantee us anything, Women must be able to take care of themselves and choose partners today based on very different reasons.
If your man is a good man, a man who respects, considers, cares and is kind to you. If he fulfils needs unique to you then be brave enough in your commitment to him.
By 31 years old you should no longer be so dependent on outsiders for approval. Its time to wing it on your own. If you feel fully certain that this man is good for and to you, then you will "sell" him as such to your family ; If you present yourself as shy, ambivalent and nervous about this relationship so your family will respond to this and discourage you. It really is on your hands. There are no guarantees , irrespective of age, but when a good thing thing comes along, nurture it and deal with the difficulties that arise.

Reply to Ageing and Sexuality expert
Posted by: Ageing and Sexuality expert | 2009/12/20

Society constructs the rules , the norms whereby we live. At this present time our society deems it "normal" for a man to be older than a woman in a relationship. It used to be based on a practical purpose - men earn more money, should take care of women as women were never expected to work or be able to take care of themselves. So being with an older man meant that a woman was "cared" for.
We know the truth is very different. Today women can take care of themselves- in fact it is men who harass, rape and violate us so simply as he is a man, an older man does not guarantee us anything, Women must be able to take care of themselves and choose partners today based on very different reasons.
If your man is a good man, a man who respects, considers, cares and is kind to you. If he fulfils needs unique to you then be brave enough in your commitment to him.
By 31 years old you should no longer be so dependent on outsiders for approval. Its time to wing it on your own. If you feel fully certain that this man is good for and to you, then you will "sell" him as such to your family ; If you present yourself as shy, ambivalent and nervous about this relationship so your family will respond to this and discourage you. It really is on your hands. There are no guarantees , irrespective of age, but when a good thing thing comes along, nurture it and deal with the difficulties that arise.

Reply to Ageing and Sexuality expert
Posted by: Ageing and Sexuality expert | 2009/12/20

Society constructs the rules , the norms whereby we live. At this present time our society deems it "normal" for a man to be older than a woman in a relationship. It used to be based on a practical purpose - men earn more money, should take care of women as women were never expected to work or be able to take care of themselves. So being with an older man meant that a woman was "cared" for.
We know the truth is very different. Today women can take care of themselves- in fact it is men who harass, rape and violate us so simply as he is a man, an older man does not guarantee us anything, Women must be able to take care of themselves and choose partners today based on very different reasons.
If your man is a good man, a man who respects, considers, cares and is kind to you. If he fulfils needs unique to you then be brave enough in your commitment to him.
By 31 years old you should no longer be so dependent on outsiders for approval. Its time to wing it on your own. If you feel fully certain that this man is good for and to you, then you will "sell" him as such to your family ; If you present yourself as shy, ambivalent and nervous about this relationship so your family will respond to this and discourage you. It really is on your hands. There are no guarantees , irrespective of age, but when a good thing thing comes along, nurture it and deal with the difficulties that arise.

Reply to Ageing and Sexuality expert
Posted by: Ageing and Sexuality expert | 2009/12/20

Society constructs the rules , the norms whereby we live. At this present time our society deems it "normal" for a man to be older than a woman in a relationship. It used to be based on a practical purpose - men earn more money, should take care of women as women were never expected to work or be able to take care of themselves. So being with an older man meant that a woman was "cared" for.
We know the truth is very different. Today women can take care of themselves- in fact it is men who harass, rape and violate us so simply as he is a man, an older man does not guarantee us anything, Women must be able to take care of themselves and choose partners today based on very different reasons.
If your man is a good man, a man who respects, considers, cares and is kind to you. If he fulfils needs unique to you then be brave enough in your commitment to him.
By 31 years old you should no longer be so dependent on outsiders for approval. Its time to wing it on your own. If you feel fully certain that this man is good for and to you, then you will "sell" him as such to your family ; If you present yourself as shy, ambivalent and nervous about this relationship so your family will respond to this and discourage you. It really is on your hands. There are no guarantees , irrespective of age, but when a good thing thing comes along, nurture it and deal with the difficulties that arise.

Reply to Ageing and Sexuality expert
Posted by: Ageing and Sexuality expert | 2009/12/20

Society constructs the rules , the norms whereby we live. At this present time our society deems it "normal" for a man to be older than a woman in a relationship. It used to be based on a practical purpose - men earn more money, should take care of women as women were never expected to work or be able to take care of themselves. So being with an older man meant that a woman was "cared" for.
We know the truth is very different. Today women can take care of themselves- in fact it is men who harass, rape and violate us so simply as he is a man, an older man does not guarantee us anything, Women must be able to take care of themselves and choose partners today based on very different reasons.
If your man is a good man, a man who respects, considers, cares and is kind to you. If he fulfils needs unique to you then be brave enough in your commitment to him.
By 31 years old you should no longer be so dependent on outsiders for approval. Its time to wing it on your own. If you feel fully certain that this man is good for and to you, then you will "sell" him as such to your family ; If you present yourself as shy, ambivalent and nervous about this relationship so your family will respond to this and discourage you. It really is on your hands. There are no guarantees , irrespective of age, but when a good thing thing comes along, nurture it and deal with the difficulties that arise.

Reply to Ageing and Sexuality expert

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