Posted by: Sunshine | 2013-01-29

Older brother. Can it drug?

Hi Doc

I know this is probably the wrong forum to ask my question but Im not sure where else to go. Please can you advise.

My brother (36) seems to have a problem. Just some backround is my brother was brutally attacked by the police in 2007 and that he also lost his job in 2009 and has been jobless since then. He persued a case against the police and finally late last year won and is now waiting for the state to decide on a conpensation payout.
Since he lost his job he has made no attemp to get another job or to empower himself in anyway. he demands cash from my parents and occasionally from my other brother and myself. when he doesnt get his way he gets angry. Never willing to do anything at home. He can be the most loving and enjoyable person to have around and at other times not so lovable.
To cut a long story short over the past weekend he came over to my house as we were to attend a family gathering but dissapeared and did pitch until Sunday evening. Just before he arrived he called my mother and spoke in a almost slurred spech. upon his arrival he headde to the bathroom and remained there taking a shower for over an hour. He looked strange to say the least. that night he had a restless sleep tossing, turning and constantly twitching. he slept most of Monday away. I suspect drugs but dont know how to handle this. Any advise please. I am so worried!!!

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Our expert says:
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Sorry to say this but I tend to agree with Kelly. I strongly would suspect that the heart o all his problems lies in drug addiction. Many people, sadly, have been badly handled by police, but they usually don't allow it to dominate or ruin their lives.
It is entirely HIS responsibility that he hasn't bothered to seek another job in all this time. One might understand if he chose not to try to work within the Police service, but otherwise there's no excuse for just not trying.
He is thoroughly spoilt by his family, and has a cheek to demand money from any of you. It sounds very muh as though he has been involved in drugs ( was hat, even, possibly why the police got involved with him in the first place ? ) so that's probably where most of the money goes. And that may be where all his compensation, whatever that may amount to, will be wasted on, too.
He can only aford to avoid work and lie around taking drugs and feeling sorry for himself, because he is sponsored by you all. That is not good for him.
Start expecting him to behave like a responsible adult, and make it clear he is not welcome at anyone's house unless drug-free, and that he won't receive money hand-outs until he gets and keeps a job to support himself - he can start with a very modest job and work up.
Read-up, online, about Tough Love, as it sounds as though that may be what he needs.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kelly | 2013-01-30

He is 36 yrs old, I think you guys are at fault for enabling him all these years. Seriously force him to get a job, if not throw him out and do not assist him financially. Stop spoiling this man!!!
He might be on drugs but he does not work to afford this...
If he wants to do drugs then tell him to get a job to support his habit, it really sounds like he has used this police brutality issue to the max.

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