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Question
Posted by: Shirley | 2009-03-10

old age home

My cousin wants to put her mom into an old age home.... she has cancer and might not see her next birthday.....she lives with her son who doesn' t agree with letting his mom go to an old age home...people tend to deterrirate fast when put into an old age home..... it is not like there isn' t someone who can come and look after her.... We have a very good hospice in our town and the town is small.... what u think guys.....?

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Our expert says:
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Having been through an even more difficult but analogous experience myself, and having helped over the years to develop the whole con cept of hospice, I don't understand why your cousin wants to put the poor lady into an old age home. Maybe she's scared of cancer, and scared that she won'tbe able to cope with caring for her. And why has nobody asked the woman herself what she wants ? Its easy to get a helper, and for the family to share the chores of caring --- and a hospice is specifically designed to provide support for the family as well as the patient, and competent care as regards whatever she needs in the way of symptom control, etc.
Can you imagine how abandoned someone would feel, being dumped in an Old Folks home by a daughter who doesn't care enough to care for you ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: dee | 2009-03-10

I couldn' t agree more guys....they are 7 children of witch 4 are still living in town.....the youngest son is againts it and one of the other daughters.....she used to live with the youngest son...but the one daughter is dead set on putting her in a home....I told my father and my parents in law that i will take care of them when time comes...even if we have to build cottages for them on our property..... I don' t know how to approach my cousen about the situation

Reply to dee
Posted by: Landie | 2009-03-10

I' ve always tried to understand why ppl would want to put their parents in Old Age Homes? Are they a burden?

Her mon is old and sick and needs to be around the people that she cares about, putting her in an Old Age Home will just stress her out, it' s gonna be like she has been deserted.

Why not take the money she will be paying at the OAH and get someone to look after her while she is at work?

I think it' s cruel!

Reply to Landie
Posted by: Landie | 2009-03-10

I' ve always tried to understand why ppl would want to put their parents in Old Age Homes? Are they a burden?

Her mon is old and sick and needs to be around the people that she cares about, putting her in an Old Age Home will just stress her out, it' s gonna be like she has been deserted.

Why not take the money she will be paying at the OAH and get someone to look after her while she is at work?

I think it' s cruel!

Reply to Landie

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