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Question
Posted by: Lulu | 2011/01/17

Obsessive relationship?

Hi,

I recently met a guy, who I think is great! He talks my love language, we get along very well and enjoy each other''s company. However, my friends seem to think that he is obsessive over me as they cannot have a conversation with him without him talking about me all the time. We have only been dating a couple of weeks and he already talks about ''our'' future as if it is a given. My family likes him and think he is great too. However, at a social gathering he frequently stares at me and my friends feel that he may be jealous of our relationship.
Several acquaintances have also commented to me that they do not get a good ''vibe'' from him. I am unsure what to do? Could he be obsessive?
What are the warning signs for obsessive behaviour? Due to past experiences I am especially concerned about violent behaviour later on in the relationship.

Thank you


Thank you
Leo-Nor

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

"He talks my love language" - should that be added as an extra to our 11 existing national languages ? Maybe hire extra interpreters for the United Nations ?
This is, as you say twice in your short message, a NEW relationship. Of coursde he COULD be obsessive - me might also have ingrown toenails. Over-all, he sounds to be becoming far too intense far too quickly. Such relationships often are too determined by his personality and whatever else has happened to him thus far, rather than by what, if anything, is actually wholesomely between you.
Why are both of you seeming to be in such a hurry ? If you can't be friends and relax together, there's no point in becoming lovers. Take your time

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

7
Our users say:
Posted by: jskr | 2011/01/20

Be careful of this type - I dated one for 3 months, and it took me 1 years of court and restraining orders to get rid of him.

Reply to jskr
Posted by: Anon | 2011/01/18

Your friends are only jealous because their boyfriends do NOT boast and brag about how wonderful they are anymore. Be proud and happy that he is like that and not shy to express his feelings infront of your friends. Some guys like myself never ever do that or merely cant, even when our GF''s ask. Seriously. Either appreciate it or dont ever expect him to express himself again

Reply to Anon
Posted by: XXX | 2011/01/17

It does sound like he is pushing things a bit too fast .....

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Vrye Denker | 2011/01/17

Imagine you weren''t in love with this guy: would you still find his behaviour charming? If yes, then don''t worry, otherwise, you have a problem.

Reply to Vrye Denker
Posted by: CPM | 2011/01/17

how old are you? why are you listening to the whole world instead of your heart?

Reply to CPM
Posted by: Romany | 2011/01/17

Give it time. Don''t listen to other people at this stage. You need to make up your own mind about him first. This is a young relationship.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/01/17

"He talks my love language" - should that be added as an extra to our 11 existing national languages ? Maybe hire extra interpreters for the United Nations ?
This is, as you say twice in your short message, a NEW relationship. Of coursde he COULD be obsessive - me might also have ingrown toenails. Over-all, he sounds to be becoming far too intense far too quickly. Such relationships often are too determined by his personality and whatever else has happened to him thus far, rather than by what, if anything, is actually wholesomely between you.
Why are both of you seeming to be in such a hurry ? If you can't be friends and relax together, there's no point in becoming lovers. Take your time

Reply to cybershrink

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