Posted by: Lilly | 2009-01-18

Obsessive compulsive disorder

hi Cybershrink

thanx for your practical advice on a previous email on dealing with a lazy friend who is dependent and not liking me expanding my world/friendship circle. i pretty much told her what you had said, &  had before suggested she take up something. but she was very defensive and said i was ignoring her, even after i told her i really value her &  wanted to meet for coffee. so she ended the friendship.
somehow i feel free-er.

so, new issue: (ha ha!)
have met a lovely man who is 30 (i am 39).. he' s really kind and there is definite attraction. we' ve kissed and it felt right.
only thing is (apart from the fact i really want a baby NOW) he told me he is has OCD, but for 2 years has been on a double dose of prozac and no longer has obsessive/dark thoughts.
however he told me in the past, he would think of thinks like: if a cat walked past with it' s tail in the air of, ... well, .. of screwing the cat!! then was digusted in himself.
somehow i am a bit scared of this... could he really be cured?, wouldn' t there be odd occurances of OCD ?
(cleanliness is one thing!! bestially quite another)

thank you for a marvellous column and you fabulous wit!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like you handled things reasonably --- she had no right to demand an exclusive and permanently on-call relationship. You are indeed free-er. Welcome to freedom.
Friends --- you sure do pick 'em, don't you !
Now, only your friend's shrink would know about his condition in sifficient detail to answer your question, and to estimate his prognosis. But he'll probably be OK. At least he's not into necrophioliac sado-masochistic bestiality --- that really would be flogging a dead horse.
Seriously, in some people with OCD, part of how they become troubled can involve thinking awful thoughts --- not of things they actually WOULD do ( your cats are probably safer with him than with your late clinging ex-pal ) but of awful things that could be done, thinking how ghastly it would be IF ... SO they may obsess about how dreadful it would be to giggle during a funeral, and so on. Like other aspects of OCD, its about fearing a loss of control in one form or another, even though they are generally more tighly self-controlled than most people.
But if this worries you, ask him if you could have a word with his shrink, for clarification about the outlook

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Our users say:
Posted by: Oh my word !! | 2009-01-19

Wow ! I would definitely get rid of this guy. Helloooo ! What are you thinking.?? Life is complicated enough even with a great, trouble free relationship, why go looking for trouble ? Sad to say, once a person has " issues"  and are on chemicals they never go away completely and can manifest themselves down the line in a manner that can be tragic. Use the life God gave you and don' t waste it on a weirdo. Please don' t ruin your life.

Reply to Oh my word !!

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