Our expert says:
Eating Disorders Expert
Hello "Diet Obsessed",
Sorry for my late response, but I have been away. Luckily another reader has already posted you a short response with some worthy and good advice, so thank you, Ilke. You really do appear to have a longstanding obsessive relationship with food, and your early history of laxative abuse is indicative of an eating disorder. The label is less important than the decision you need to make to try and escape the trap you appear to be caught in right now. I understand that your weight obsession is longstanding and stems from messages you received from your parent. However, you need to have the courage as an adult to now change your scrip to life and try and approach your lifestyle in a new way. It might be helpful for you to consult with a therapist to assist you in this process. You also sound extremely anxious and some therapy may help you address these feelings. Medication might be an adjunct to consider. Dietetic advice might also lessen your anxiety if you have someone professional guiding new and healthy moderated eating habits. I am not sure where your weight is at present, but a dietician will be able to help you stabilize and maintain a normal weight range if you eat properly. Getting back to your therapy, you will need to first look at implementing some real lifestyle changes, but underneath the surface there are likely some entrenched issues that need to be addressed and eventually resolved in order to allow you to live a more free life. Best of luck.
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