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Question
Posted by: amy | 2010/03/16

obsession

good day cs

me and my boyfriend of two years were having problems ,i was a control freak from say 8months into our relationship. i never gave him alone time or let him go out with his friends witch is wrong i know ,but he was the one who told me that he just wanted to be with me(maybe just to please me)we were in each others face everyday it didnt bother me casuse i love him and it was as if he was the only thing i was living for(more like an obsesion i would say)after a year and a half into our relationship he started getting funny and being nasty with me .we were shouting and fighting almost everyday, he then started not to go out with me anymore dont wanna do things with me just sit at home and do nothing.a month ago(8feb 2010) he just stayed away witout reason. the night before i cried with him holding me i told him we cant go on like this that we must appreciate aech othe.r his words were " from now on everything will be ohk" .the following day he didnt come to me i phoned he didnt pick up,ignored me totally it went on for 2weeks he went out clubbing with his old friends again sleeping over in other places with them and enjoying himself .then he started phoning me again sending me messages i dindt respond cause he hurt me and exactly on the 8th of march he suddenly returned we stay in one town..now he wants everything to be the way it was,he dont tell me what happened during the time he was away, nothing.what i want to know is can a man stay withou sex for a month?how do i know he didnt cheat on me? he said no when i asked him if he cheated,but i cant shake the feeling. i want to let things work again but my trust is broken.how do i know?? help me please,can i trust him?could he have been faithfull? he''s 22 im 25 (oh yes and he said he stayed away so i can get used to the idea that one should have friends)

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I really can't deal with so many details about a failing relationship. What is needed is for the pair of you to either decide to end the relationship in as friendly a manner as you can, or if you really want it to have a good chance of succeeding, to see a couples counsellor together. Only in such sessions is it worth discussing the minutiae of the relationship.
As for your specific question - yes indeed, a man can go without sex for a month, for a year, if there's a good reason for doing so. The nonsense that so many seem to believe that they must have sex as often as possible or that they will somehow be harmed by actually doing something else, causes death and misery across out nation.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/03/17

I really can't deal with so many details about a failing relationship. What is needed is for the pair of you to either decide to end the relationship in as friendly a manner as you can, or if you really want it to have a good chance of succeeding, to see a couples counsellor together. Only in such sessions is it worth discussing the minutiae of the relationship.
As for your specific question - yes indeed, a man can go without sex for a month, for a year, if there's a good reason for doing so. The nonsense that so many seem to believe that they must have sex as often as possible or that they will somehow be harmed by actually doing something else, causes death and misery across out nation.

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