Posted by: Beyond Tired | 2008/11/10

Now I know why I am always Pessimistic

Hi CS,
Hope you are well.
You know the saying, the quiet before the storm and the one it is the straw that breaks the camels back. Well today I should not have gotten out of bed. My boss borrowed me a car as I don' t have one and this morniing it broke down and I don' t have the funds to fix it. I bought a Beetle some time back and have since spent a lot to get it running, it ain' t yet, now I need a new battery and to get a wheel spanner to remove a tyre with a slow puncture and this still get it on the road, but I have purchase a engin, it has a new alternator, new breaks, new fanbelt, has been serviced, front-end has been aligned and stuff replaced, etc. etc. It actually sounds good when you start it, but I have decided it ain' t worth my energy, I am also too small to drive the damn thing, look like a dwarf. Any ideas on how to sell would be welcome. As for the car borrowed to me, can' t fix it now either, so stranded again. I was drenched this morning and feel extremely despondent, like nothing is really worth it, the only thing holding me here are my kids, the temptation to end it all is so close. Then I receive a message, the cell phone account ain' t paid, what is next. Maybe they will disconnect the eletricity as this is also behind.
I know there are lot of people out there with problems, and these are normal but somehow it just seems to much and I just don' t want to try and sort it all out again, why bother, it won' t last.
the doc thinks my meds ain' t working as my up' s and down' s are frequent and seem to last forever. i just want to go to sleep and never wake up.
I realised this morning how alone I am, I didn' t know who to call me to help and felt like such a loss and you know nobody stops anymore to help. I have no real friends left anymore and don' t know what I want. I don' t want to regress and I don' t want to go forward as scared of what the next downfall will be, I wish sometimes I just had someone I could depend on to help out, just be there for me, someone who shoulder I can cry on and vent the pent up emotions inside.
i cannot smile now, just don t feel like it. I know I am sometimes my own worst enemy but this is unreal.
I am babbling CS and probably not making sense. I feel that I have reached my end, the batteries need to be removed and the toy packed into a box and buried. Enough is enough.
Take Care

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If the loan car belongs to your boss, and broke down soon after you received it, shoul;dn't you discuss this with him, as it should probably be him that has it repaired ? I know how it feels to have nobody to call for help at times of emergency. But DON\T give up ! You have been in far worse states than this many times before, and have recovered and worked your way out of them admirably, and you can reach a good place again, probably sooner than it currently fels like to you

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Lolo | 2008/11/10

you really need not be stressed right now, i know how it feel but try to calm your self and be positive so that you can think make alternative plans.

as for the sale of the car, second hand cars sell faster than brand new cars these days because lot of people are black listed and some can' t really afford, put private sale on it you' ll see.

and for cell phone account and water and lights account you need to call those people and make arrangements, they are not like before anymore they are always willing to help you make those payments even a small amout they will let you pay, after all they just need you pay your arears. have no fear make arrangements today.

always pray for strength and courage, you' ll overcome all your humbs. no season last forever.

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