Posted by: Bitter | 2009-01-22

Not worth it to be

I hate my father. He' s never been much of a father to me or husband to my mom. He treated us like slaves when we were children and now treats my mom like a maid. He suggests that they do things in and around the house that costs money (sometimes 1000' s) and makes empty promises to help pay it off, in the end he just ' forgets' . From a household where rent alone is R 4000, not to mention groceries, utility bills and a lot of debt incurred (mostly because he does not help) he gives my mom R 1000 as his share (rent for the month?), and that' s that nothing more. I recently moved out, because I could not handle the depression cloud hanging over my head everyday but had to help my mom out with paying the utility bill this month as the elctricity was cut off. When she phoned my dad and asked him whether he could help out, he started arguing with her and just said no. This morning she asked him R 20 for taxi fare for the maid (who comes in once a week otherwise my mom would have to slave away all weekend), he just refused and told her to ask me. I don' t live there anymore and I' ve got my own expenses to take care of.

How can objectively still spend time with my family without allowing their circumstance mostly caused by my father to make me so bitter. I love my mom and my sister, but my dad is just the biggest loser I know.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

People should simply "forget" to do the things he suggests, and should require advance payments to help them not "forget" to get the necessary equipment, etc. OK, nasty, selfish, greedy man. I don't quite understand the set-ip you're describing. Do your mom and dad live, ( with other family menbers ? ) together in a home, sharing expenses ? So, if the lights go out, doesn't he, too, sit in the dark ?

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