Posted by: Exhausted | 2008-11-20

Not tonight baby


I am 35 years and in March this year gave birth to our 1st child.

Baby had colic and is extremely. Hubby works in catering so his hours are not too good. Baby is 8 mths, doesn' t sleep through the night and looks for me all the time. When hubby is home he won' t help with our son unless I ask him, he won' t cook unless I ask him. As I still breastfeed I need to eat to ensure my milk supply so most nights I do the cooking. By 8pm our sone is asleep until he wakes two hrs later.

Problem is after all this, hubby expects me to be in the mood for sex, which I' m not. I' m so exhausted that all I can think about is sleep. He constantly talks about it and makes comments that he' s not getting any etc. I don' t feel turned and since the birth it seems to take a lot more for me to be turned on. At times I submit just for the sake of it and have even faked an orgasm just to get it over and done with.

Is something wrong with me? Is there something I should be doing?

Your help is appreciated.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

What you describe is a very very common problem. There is always a decline in sexual activity in sexual interest after the birth of the child. This is made much worse if you are still breast-feeding, as the hormone that is responsible for making the milk, suppresses your other hormones to prevent you from falling pregnant too quickly again, this has the final effect of reducing your sex drive. Additionally, of course, the tiredness that comes with the rearing a baby just makes the situation worse. Your husband on the other hand is feeling completely cut out of the situation and sidelined. When he used to be the centre of your attention, now he is playing second fiddle to everything else that is going on. He needs to know that he is still important in your life that you still want him and that he still has a role to play. Acknowledge his needs, and try and find a way to satisfy those needs. Even if it does not lead to full penetration

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Wondering | 2008-11-20

Talk to him about it. Sounds like he is very old school to me. If he helped you with stuff you both would have more time and maybe the resentment would stop damping your mood.

Reply to Wondering

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