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Question
Posted by: Torn | 2011/12/08

Not sure what to think about this

Hi Cybershrink, would love some advice and apologies for the long letter, i have never discussed this with anyone.

Around the time I was in grade 3 a new girl came to our school, her older brother was in the same grade as my sister. The girl became a close friend and most people got along with her but her brother did not fit in that well.

I avoided her brother when possible. He was overly friendly towards me and always insisted on a hug. Actually I don''t know how to describe this person, words don''t seem to suffice, he seemed to geniunely enjoy tormenting people and I never saw any remorse from him, not even towards his parents when he did something that upset them.
One time he showed me the knives/swords he was collecting in the bottom of his closet. Another time he insisted on a hug (which I tried to decline) and would not let me go, he then dragged me to the bathroom, kicking and screaming, and locked us in. Over the years he has said some horrible things to me, always along the lines of " I would f*ck you just see how your sister reacts"  or far more violent things he would do to me if he had the chance. Again words don''t seem to suffice, I can''t think of a way to describe the manner in which he said these things to me.

The thing that bugs me is I haven''t thought about it in a very very long time and now out of the blue these bad memories pop up so vividly and now I just feel quilty when I think about it and how horrible I still feel about them, because I know there are people who have suffered far worse things in their childhood ( he never actually harmed me). Why would these things come back to me? and how do you forget them?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He sounds like a potentially dangerous psychopath / sociopath. And it's unlikely that you were the only person he terrified. It'd be surprising if he hasn't yet got himself into significant trouble.
Sometimes one forgets about such unpleasant experiences and at other times remembers them, perhaps when something else upsetting is happening in our current life. There's clearly no reason whatever for you to geel guilty about the bad things HE did, but feelings of guilt are often not logical. Seeing a counsellor might be the most efficient way to work through the issues raised here, and to become able to leave them behind you and continue more cheerfully with a good life

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/12/08

He sounds like a potentially dangerous psychopath / sociopath. And it's unlikely that you were the only person he terrified. It'd be surprising if he hasn't yet got himself into significant trouble.
Sometimes one forgets about such unpleasant experiences and at other times remembers them, perhaps when something else upsetting is happening in our current life. There's clearly no reason whatever for you to geel guilty about the bad things HE did, but feelings of guilt are often not logical. Seeing a counsellor might be the most efficient way to work through the issues raised here, and to become able to leave them behind you and continue more cheerfully with a good life

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