Our expert says:
Frankly, even with thumb-screws or "truth serum", you might never discover "the reason" for the breakup - he might very well not understand it himself. Sometimes one thinks one is pursuing the truth, when actually there are some specific words one wants him to say, or some specific theory you want him to confirm.
The more you allow yourself to worry so about these tyhings, the more you keep yourself attached to the break-up, and the longer the period of discomfort.
You can't GET him to talk to you. If you could write a short, entirely calm and reasonable e-mail or letter, for instance, saying that you don't want to interfere in his plans, but really want, before he leaves the country, to understand why after all this time he decided to break up the relationship after 10 years so you can get closure, and ask him to help with this, maybe he will. If he doesn't want to, you can't make him do so. Otherwise, personal counselling can help you to let go and move on
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