Our expert says:
Ageing and Sexuality expert
i am somewhat distressed at the judgemental manner in which this forum is going. I expect freedom of expression here, but encourage tolerance, understanding rather than outright rudeness and insult. One never knows the full story and even then our role should be to offer an opinion but not in a way that slanders someone as in calling her "slutty". That's nasty and cheap- what has sex work got to do with a woman who clearly is in a terrible dilemma. If you read her question it is not about the "right of wrong" of her decision to cheat- she has made that decision for herself. Her question relates to sexual health - the safety of cheating.
Having more than one partner always carries a health risk so condoms are essential at all times- even if he looks clean. To be extra safe insist on condoms with oral sex as if he is infected and you have a cut or sore in your mouth then there is a chance of infection transmission.I also suggest you both know your status or go for VCT (Voluntary Counselling and Testing) One cannot deny the need to consider the emotional toll this amy take on you- holding a secret becomes a very heavy burden in a relationship.
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