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Question
Posted by: SJ | 2010/08/13

Not Special Anymore

My partner and I are approaching the 4 year mark and for the
last year I just feel like he no longer feels like he needs
to make an effort. I am always doing small nice things for him
and I am always complementing him. He used to be so romantic but
now any type of effort has gone out the window. He tells me that
he loves me but every now and then I need a little more. Even something as silly as buying me a chocolate because he thought about me. I am losing interest because I just don''t feel special and worthwhile anymore. What do I do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Something like this quite often happens in marriages or other consistent relationships. Is he no longer actually loving you, or is i that he tries to express his love in other ways ( we do differ in how we most naturally and comfortably express our love for someone ). Have you discussed these issues CALMLY with him ( I emphasize calmly because many men get scared and withdraw when faced with a discussion with high emotional temperature ) ?
How about suggesting some couples counselling to examine and sort out such issues ( he may even have a few issues with you, so it would benefit both of you ) ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/08/13

Something like this quite often happens in marriages or other consistent relationships. Is he no longer actually loving you, or is i that he tries to express his love in other ways ( we do differ in how we most naturally and comfortably express our love for someone ). Have you discussed these issues CALMLY with him ( I emphasize calmly because many men get scared and withdraw when faced with a discussion with high emotional temperature ) ?
How about suggesting some couples counselling to examine and sort out such issues ( he may even have a few issues with you, so it would benefit both of you ) ?

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