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Question
Posted by: linda | 2010/03/01

not perfect

i have an annoying problem of feeling bad everytime after a night out at a party or some sort of gathering where there are acquaintances or people i know as friends.its like this:il be there say with my boyfriend or whoever else or by myself and il enjoy myself chatting to people and go home feeling fine but the very next morning il be feeling like dirt.il go over every detail of the night before,what i said or did or others did or said.now please note that i dont drink or smoke and the entire time there im sitting down so meaning i dont even dance.yet i seem to be overly concerned about if i made a good impression.people normaly refer to me as a good girl and im fiercly private about my life so i always feel the need to be that good girl.i feel people are watching my behaviour at all times to c if il make a bad move.which i probably won''t.two weeks ago i attended a function with my boyfriend and was doing that same thing except i danced while seated mind you but the next day i felt like i did something wrong.last night my brother had his friends over some of which are my acquaintances.my mom then went out with her boyfriend around 8pm and to be honest i felt a bit embarrassed because i felt like my private family life was exposed.people meet me and always seem to have these high expectations of me and where i come from because of the way i am and if something doesnt fit what they think of me or my family they seem shocked or let down by me.it frustates me because i never intentionally make people think im perfect im just who i am.i just want to go live somewhere where im not known so i can just be.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like this might be a variety of social anxiety disorder, as from your description you clearly don't do anything to feel bad about, yet it seems to be related so something to do with being in company socially.
Counselling and CBT could help a lot. I doubt very much whether ANYONE else has such high expectations of you, or are as critical of you, as you are yourself.
Anyone else who feels "shocked" bu your excellent behaviour would have to be a really unreasonable and disturbed person.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/03/01

Sounds like this might be a variety of social anxiety disorder, as from your description you clearly don't do anything to feel bad about, yet it seems to be related so something to do with being in company socially.
Counselling and CBT could help a lot. I doubt very much whether ANYONE else has such high expectations of you, or are as critical of you, as you are yourself.
Anyone else who feels "shocked" bu your excellent behaviour would have to be a really unreasonable and disturbed person.

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