Our expert says:
loss or lack of sexual desire does not mean that you do not love your husband. it may just mean that you have low sexual desire. however, your volatile relationship may be a contributing factor to this - in order to create a healthy and positive relationship you may sincerely need to consult a counsellor, even individually at first.
as a first point in addressing your low sexual desire and your husband's concerns that you do not initiate sex, it may be advisable for both of you to focus on foreplay. by starting with foreplay it may become highly arousing for you and 'put you in the mood'. additionally, foreplay requires both partners to be active, thus giving you a more active role.
secondly, communication around sexual desires need to be communicated. if you are not in the mood on a certain day, a compromise can be reached by you giving your husband outer / oral sex.
if these approaches do not work, it may be advisable to consult a sexologist for additional support.
please see also; www.sexualhealth.co.za
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