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Question
Posted by: Funky | 2009-09-14

Not interested in sex

I am 32 years old i am on Epitec. But i am not interested in sex, its been like this for a while. I would rather get into bed and read a book. My husband says that when we do have sex he feels cheap cos i expect him to do all the work. I never initiate it. We have 2 kids i work full day and study, but i am not exhursted i manage my time well, husband helps alot with house hold and kids. So i just dont understand. Could it be that i have checked out this relationship long ago or stopped loving him, or is there something wrong with me? We have a very volitile marrage and its been hard. he is very fussy and i am very relaxed but the fights are huge. i have suggested councelling but he wont go. He is too afraid that he will find out the world is not wrong but he is.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

loss or lack of sexual desire does not mean that you do not love your husband. it may just mean that you have low sexual desire. however, your volatile relationship may be a contributing factor to this - in order to create a healthy and positive relationship you may sincerely need to consult a counsellor, even individually at first.

as a first point in addressing your low sexual desire and your husband's concerns that you do not initiate sex, it may be advisable for both of you to focus on foreplay. by starting with foreplay it may become highly arousing for you and 'put you in the mood'. additionally, foreplay requires both partners to be active, thus giving you a more active role.

secondly, communication around sexual desires need to be communicated. if you are not in the mood on a certain day, a compromise can be reached by you giving your husband outer / oral sex.

if these approaches do not work, it may be advisable to consult a sexologist for additional support.

please see also; www.sexualhealth.co.za

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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