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Question
Posted by: Karen | 2011/03/15

Not enough sex :(

Hello. I need some advice please. My husband and I have been married for almost a year now and he doesn’ t seem interested in sex. We’ re having it around once a week now, where I’ d really prefer it three times or more. I’ ve tried the sexy lingerie and that doesn’ t help. We’ ve moved in with his parents while we’ re saving up for our own house, but surely that doesn’ t mean our sex life has to come to a halt?? I used to try initiate it often, but he always pushed me away, so now I’ ve stopped trying. But at the end of the day when we get in to bed, I feel so alone and lonely when he just falls asleep.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

This is frustrating and can be caused by various things, e.g. stress, disease, moving back home etc. Some people however just have a low sex drive - which can be enhanced with the correct therapy /medicine. The best is to phone SASHA helpline for the contact details of a professional – 0860 100 262. Deidre - SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Karen | 2011/03/23

Thanks for all your comments. We''ve spoken more, and he''s said now that although he does want to, it''s awkward for him because we''re living with his parents. Well, we wont be forever, so we''ll see!
Thanks again

Reply to Karen
Posted by: Mike | 2011/03/18

Hallo Karen, I know how you feel.It''s disapointing for a person. There''s all these adsvice and I''ve tried most of it. my wife is the same as your husband, except she don''t want to have sex. We are doing it once a month if i''m lucky. Be patiance with him, and don''t give up on him. I know you love eatch other, he just have to come right. There''s alot of men out there that will give an arm and leg to have what he is throing away. Keep on loving him and support him maybe he will come right.

Reply to Mike
Posted by: captain e | 2011/03/17

This is so true and what has been said , I have tried and tried again. I even went for some counsaling and that did not make any differance. I landed up going on anti depressnats just to cope.
When I have innitiated the sex and have succeeded , it was one sided, and I have been married for 11 years now and this has been going on for 7 of those 11 years, so I have tried it all and now I am tiered.

My wife just not seem interested at all and says that sex is not everything.
Now she just puts out to satify me and its like having sex with a sack of potatoes.

So what do I do now , look for something on the side.

Please someone help me

The captain

Reply to captain e
Posted by: Me | 2011/03/16

It is so interesting to hear all this....my hubby and i used to have it almost on dailly basis...then after sometime he will complain that he''s tired bla bla bla..i tried in each and everyway... until i kinda gave up and focus on other things in my life since i have kids going to school full time and work, then now he''s the one complaining that i don''t care about him anymore since it seems like i don''t even wanna have sex with him...i just don''t even knw what to do since he turn me off long time ago....am not a cheating type never thought of it but decided to occupy myself with other things...IT''S A STRANGE WORLD!!!TRUE

Reply to Me
Posted by: GUMAN | 2011/03/16

Kan ek jou help Karen.

Reply to GUMAN
Posted by: GUNMAN | 2011/03/16

Yeah, that is a great idea, for us that can''t get sex out of our partners, we should come togather for a day and start f.cking each other like crazy. I am so serious.

Reply to GUNMAN
Posted by: Blahblahblah | 2011/03/16

Dane: That is what everybody says... Just talk about it, make her know how you feel. Tried it, doesn''t work. She would be all " I understand, I will make an effort..."  Empty promises, as nothing has changed. It is just not an issue for her. But she wants me to tell her everyday that I love her. Maybe I should just stop telling her that and see how long she can cope without it. I have tried to stop initiating sex, but could only do it for a two weeks. Maybe I should just stop initiating altogether and see what happens after a month or two. It is frustrating, because everytime I try to initiate and nothing happens, I feel rejected. And when she does not initiate I feel lonely. I don''t want to resort to masturbating and will never cheat on her. I don''t know what to do.

Reply to Blahblahblah
Posted by: Chris758 | 2011/03/16

There are so many of us who''s partners are not having sex with us!! maybe we should start a club where we can meet with each other and do have sex with someone!! But the crux would be that the partners know of this club and that we are members!!!

Reply to Chris758
Posted by: Dane | 2011/03/16

Guys, That is just unfair of the partners doing this. And sometimes it''s not because they have other relationships or that you are not good enough, its just that hey don care at all. I feel for you guys, but I think the only way to resolve this typ of issues is to sit down with your partner be honest and talk about how you feel and how it makes you feel when he/she is acting up like this. Because having sex or making love has to come from withing and wanting to have it, if there is force to it, then you might as well just help yourself. I knowits hard, but I think communication can almost lead to a resolution.

Reply to Dane
Posted by: blahblahblah | 2011/03/16

Hi Karen. I am in a similar situation and have a lot of sympathy. I would by lucky if my wife and I have sex once a week. It is normally once or maybe twice a month, and only if I initiate. I have also stopped initiating like you. I have tried all the tips: ''sex starts in the morning...'', ''doing the dishes, the washing...'','' tell her she is beautiful...'', being sensitive...'' blah blah blah. It does not work. I have tried talking about it. Nothing works. It makes me feel lonely and unloved. We have only been married for a few months.

Reply to blahblahblah
Posted by: sexologist | 2011/03/15

This is frustrating and can be caused by various things, e.g. stress, disease, moving back home etc. Some people however just have a low sex drive - which can be enhanced with the correct therapy /medicine. The best is to phone SASHA helpline for the contact details of a professional – 0860 100 262. Deidre - SASHA

Reply to sexologist

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