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Question
Posted by: Jakes | 2008/07/03

"Not confused anymore"

Hi guys!

I refer to my post on 09/06/08 where I got some excellent advice from all the replies! I am happy to report that I have actually taken the advice to heart so much so that I've actually got my first date with a guy tonight! I just hope he doesn't get cold feet! Or that I don't hehe..

I also got myself a couple of gay publications last week. I have to admit that it took some guts browsing this section at CNA (not my local store ofcourse) but I somehow managed to do it. And the interesting thing is that no one even looked my way. If anybody noticed they sure didn't care. Which is a good thing right?

Now, on the HIV note, I need to know whether wearing a condom while engaging in anal (or virginal) sex is full proof. Or relatively safe at least. Surely it's impractical to demand being tested every time. And what about oral sex? Can one also contract the infection by having that? Some advice on this subject would really be appreciated dear Expert!

As a final note, what does NSA fun / action means?

Thanks a lot
Jakes

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi again Jakes, thanks for this post and congrats on your first date with a guy.

As Gareth points out, HIV is spread through body fluids - the high-risk fluids are semen and blood. Safer sex is quite simple - don't allow anyone's semen or blood to enter your bloodstream unless you absolutely know - know - that he's HIV negative. And you're unlikely to really know someone's HIV status on a first date - the guy may not even know his own HIV status so play safe. NO anal penetration without a condom and make sure you have water-based lube (such as KY or Assegai) available. Unless you have any lesions, sores or blisters inside or around your mouth oral sex is OK but don't take semen in your mouth. Most importantly, don't count on having sex on your very first date - let your evening unfold according to how comfortable you're feeling.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Jakes | 2008/07/07

Hey hey!

Ja Duncan it went well we clicked right from the start and he seems to be a really nice guy. Nothing sexual happened although when we spoke afterwards we admitted to finding each other attractive. Actually it was a good thing to first check things out. Rather that than getting physical first and then things are all akward afterwards!

Reply to Jakes
Posted by: Duncan | 2008/07/05

So Mister? Report back? I hope it went well....

Reply to Duncan
Posted by: Neil | 2008/07/03

So no more straight marriage plans Jakes?

Reply to Neil
Posted by: Jakes | 2008/07/03

Thanks guys, and Johnny, I saw the NSA abreviation in EXIT.

Reply to Jakes
Posted by: Gareth | 2008/07/03

Jakes, well done! And good luck with your date tonight. Now remember to go with an open mind. Don't look at the date as the probable one you will have a relationship quite yet. Just go and be yourself, and enjoy the company. It is really heartwarming to know that you are now working at what makes YOU happy and not live by what other people are going to say about it.

As for the sex part. I don't think anything is fool proof but using a condom is really quite safe. HIV is mostly passed on through semen or blood, so unless you have any open sores you should be okay. Oral is also quite safe, again as long as you do not have sores in your mouth etc. The key to play it safe is to not get so carried away in the moment of passion that you do without thinking. take time to make sure that condoms do not burst (and rather use proper quality condoms than the government issue ones). I am not an expert on these things as I haven't been in the single scene for a while, but key is, do not do anything that you are not sure of. I hope I haven't scared you off here, maybe someone with more knowledge can help here.

Lastly, please come and tell us how it all went. And have LOADS of fun.

Reply to Gareth
Posted by: Johnny | 2008/07/03

sorry to say this but if the guy you are going on a date with tonight, had that in his mail, its not a date!!!! He only has one thing on his mind. use a condom, it is not 100% safe, but it can save your life. If you have a sore, bleeding gums, or a cut in your mouth , forget oral sex. You dont know where your "date " has been. Dude you realy need to read up on HIV/AIDS, before you dive off the deep end. Good to have street smarts when going on a date. Enjoy your date and be safe.

Reply to Johnny
Posted by: Riley | 2008/07/03

Sorry, I've become really bad at responding to only one element of a post.

NSA - No strings attached.

Reply to Riley

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