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Question
Posted by: Miss Priss | 2008-10-31

Normal?

I know what I am going to say now might sound crazy and desperate and stupid. It has been 113 days since my boyfriend left me. He betrayed me in the worst possible way. I found out after he left that he left me for another woman –  unfortunately somebody I know very well. Although I know now that I do not want him back or anything and have made a conscious decision to build my life without him, I get days – like today- where I feel so desperate and lonely and hurt and a million other negative feelings which I cannot control. And I hate to feel like this. Unfortunately he stays next to me so I am confronted by the sight of him almost every day and I reckon that is part of the problem. Am I being foolish to still experience these terrible feelings of loss –  is it normal? Sometimes I feel so silly to feel like this because I am a grown woman –  38 years old! Not a silly teenager anymore. I was married to my school sweetheart so this was my second serious relationship on my life. Is that part of the problem? Am I too naï ve? Is it stupid too believe that somebody can still love you forever and be honest and trustworthy? It’ s just I place such a high premium on trust and honesty and try live my life by a high moral standard and stand for things I believe in. Perhaps I sometimes set the standard a little too high but that’ s just me –  I do not compromise my values for anything. Will I ever feel OK again??

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If you're still counting, you're surely not over it. But you're not being foolish, and surely didn't choose to still feel so soert about what he did. But you sound as though you deserve counselling to set you free from these burdens of bitterness, and free to move on. Its nopt unrealistic to believe that SOME people can be both loved and trustworthy ; it is unrealistic, apparently, to have believed that HE could. You don't have to lower your standards of morals, but maybe become more realistic in your expectations of others

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Shoooo | 2008-10-31

113 days. That' s some counting...

Reply to Shoooo
Posted by: maureen | 2008-10-31

Why dont you move? get away from him so that you can rebuild your life.

Reply to maureen

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