Our expert says:
I am here to deal with significant PSYCHIATRIC problems, not as a mariage counsellor, let alone a relationship counsellor to deal with lover's tiffs, as I am often expected to be. Nor to speculate about sperm, or property values.
It is sheer common sense that the longer the message you post the less likely ANYONE will be to read it carefully, amongst the dozens one deals with every day. And the exercise of summarizing your problem and question if of real definite value for you.
I do appreciate that most people find it difficult to reveal and talk about their problems --- I haven't posted 5 pages here about how I feel in dealing with a dying and helpless mother --- but LENGTH is not excused by sinceeity. A murky and confused question can't get a clear answer.
This was not intended as a forum for people to "pour their hearts out". SOme folks do use it, responsible, when they wish to do so, and vent their feelings, but they make it clear that this is a venting and that they don't expect me to read every word or even to respond to their sincere and respected outpouring.
Generally, I agree with you, the quality of input from other readers is really impressive --- and that's why I generally do ask for input from other readers, and refer some of the sincerely long-winded to that.
And people need not be greedy, as they are in this forum and not in any others --- expecting a specialist to abaondon his own life and spend 20 minutes reading their story and then providing a long response. If your problem really is too complex to summarize in a paragraph ( and the most seriously ill people I hear from, and those in the most genuine need, invariably CAN summarize --- it requires no special training, merely the self-discipline to think carefully before just typing away ) then you ought to see a shrink. We are here to provide some comment, perhaps an opinion, but NOT, NOT EVER, to provide a free full consultation nor treatment online.
If, considering the situation, you don't want to face a break-up at this time, fine, that's a valid and respectable decision. You need then either to accept the situation as it is, or to persuade him to join you in marriage counselling to attempt to change the problems.
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