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Question
Posted by: Amanda | 2010/11/17

No zest for life

My Teen has no zest for life. She is in her bedroom most of the time. Only comes out to eat and bath and occassionaly watch a bit of tv. I know she has a socialising problem, but I am beginning to think she is depressed. We try to take her out and have a one-on-one chat but nothing comes of it and she ends up back in her bedroom.

She was drunk a while back and I discovered that it wasn't the first time but felt she needs to get drunk in order to be able to socialise more. I have thought of sending her to the counciler at school but she doesn't trust her.

We have just bought her a car and are planning to start driving lessons. She didn't even take much notice of the car. My Husbands brother suffered from depression and was an alcoholic. What should we do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Lets see what other experienced moms can contribute here. Some teens do this - become moony and gloopy and solitary and somewhat dramatize their moods, and so on. But some do get depressed, and some may have more serious problems they're not revealing.

It sounds as though a real component of this is feeling shy and awkward socializing, hence getting drunk to feel less inhibited - CBT and other help with social anxiety could help a lot.

But first of all we need a proper assessment to be sure what needs to be dealt with. If she says she doesn't trust the counsellor at school, for good or insufficient reasons, she'd better see a local psychologist ( the school may be able to recommend one ) with experience of teens. A car may really not be what she needs at this stage.

With some family history of alcoholism one would be cautious, as some problem drinking starts with using the alcohol as self-medication for shyness.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/11/17

Lets see what other experienced moms can contribute here. Some teens do this - become moony and gloopy and solitary and somewhat dramatize their moods, and so on. But some do get depressed, and some may have more serious problems they're not revealing.

It sounds as though a real component of this is feeling shy and awkward socializing, hence getting drunk to feel less inhibited - CBT and other help with social anxiety could help a lot.

But first of all we need a proper assessment to be sure what needs to be dealt with. If she says she doesn't trust the counsellor at school, for good or insufficient reasons, she'd better see a local psychologist ( the school may be able to recommend one ) with experience of teens. A car may really not be what she needs at this stage.

With some family history of alcoholism one would be cautious, as some problem drinking starts with using the alcohol as self-medication for shyness.

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