Our expert says:
Breaking up from a basically anusive relationship can make good sense, but though it may eventually lead to some relief, its a stressful series of events in itself. Having nobody to turn to is a serious handicap whatever stressful crisis you are facing. How have you made no friends at all ? Are there no members of your family you could approach ? Or have you somehow broken with them ? The legalities are complex if you stay ion SA and he is not planning to return - under what jurisdiction / legal system will the divorce be handled ? It will be essential to ensure that he is required to pay proper maintenance for the children, and potentially even for you, if you let go of your working life to be his wife and the mother of the children. Are you currently on his medical aid ? Can you arrange to see a counsellor, maybe even one arranged through a group like POWA that advises abused women, to explore your rights and your options for returning to work, finding support ( maybe POWA has some support groups near you ), and so on ?
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