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Question
Posted by: Confused | 2011/03/08

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Hi,

I recently met a guy and connected with him from the start, however, when we got intimate he could not hold it up and faded... What gives guys stage fright? Or is he just not that into me?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Erectile problems may occur for a number of possible reasons, the most problematic of all could be serious health issues and so he needs to have a physical check up. Not all causes are related to such problems however:
1. It could be a physical problem (e.g. diabetes, very overweight). It could be the side effect of medication (his GP could confirm this). Also, I don't know how old he is, but you need to be aware that erectile functioning deteriorates with age and he may need more direct stimulation to achieve an erection.
2. As he appears to be able to become aroused some of the time, it could be that he has psychological blocks - this is where he may fear sexual failure/poor performance, and this essentially blocks the normal workings of the sexual response. If there is conflict in the relationship or he has individual concerns (e.g. not feeling 'man' enough, etc), this could also affect his erection.

There are treatment options for ED - both pharmaceutical and psychosexual - why not consider some of these option together to see how this can be addressed. It is common that when one partner experiences sexual difficulty the overall intimacy in the relationship declines - this is likely to be part of what you are missing and it is fair that you have this need (and your sexual needs) addressed in some way.

As a first recommendation - try to get your boyfriend checked out physically by a GP or urologist. If he gets the all clear, then both of you go to see a health professional with experience in this area.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: alexxx | 2011/03/16

Just relax, take things slow....very slow.
i suggest you take the lead and maybe give him a BJ till he is just about to cum and then stop - that will get him in the mood and keep him in the mood.

teasing goes a long way :)

Reply to alexxx
Posted by: Sexologist | 2011/03/10

Erectile problems may occur for a number of possible reasons, the most problematic of all could be serious health issues and so he needs to have a physical check up. Not all causes are related to such problems however:
1. It could be a physical problem (e.g. diabetes, very overweight). It could be the side effect of medication (his GP could confirm this). Also, I don't know how old he is, but you need to be aware that erectile functioning deteriorates with age and he may need more direct stimulation to achieve an erection.
2. As he appears to be able to become aroused some of the time, it could be that he has psychological blocks - this is where he may fear sexual failure/poor performance, and this essentially blocks the normal workings of the sexual response. If there is conflict in the relationship or he has individual concerns (e.g. not feeling 'man' enough, etc), this could also affect his erection.

There are treatment options for ED - both pharmaceutical and psychosexual - why not consider some of these option together to see how this can be addressed. It is common that when one partner experiences sexual difficulty the overall intimacy in the relationship declines - this is likely to be part of what you are missing and it is fair that you have this need (and your sexual needs) addressed in some way.

As a first recommendation - try to get your boyfriend checked out physically by a GP or urologist. If he gets the all clear, then both of you go to see a health professional with experience in this area.

Reply to Sexologist
Posted by: Dr Dree | 2011/03/08

Confused, it happend to me once with this beauful woman i still kick myself today i was nevous for the first time in my life, i never had a second chance though probably to her í ''m just a half man lol, just give him another chance.

Reply to Dr Dree
Posted by: XXX | 2011/03/08

Highly likely that it is just stage fright..... give him a chance and take your time,he''ll get there

Reply to XXX

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