Our expert says:
Erectile problems may occur for a number of possible reasons, the most problematic of all could be serious health issues and so he needs to have a physical check up. Not all causes are related to such problems however:
1. It could be a physical problem (e.g. diabetes, very overweight). It could be the side effect of medication (his GP could confirm this). Also, I don't know how old he is, but you need to be aware that erectile functioning deteriorates with age and he may need more direct stimulation to achieve an erection.
2. As he appears to be able to become aroused some of the time, it could be that he has psychological blocks - this is where he may fear sexual failure/poor performance, and this essentially blocks the normal workings of the sexual response. If there is conflict in the relationship or he has individual concerns (e.g. not feeling 'man' enough, etc), this could also affect his erection.
There are treatment options for ED - both pharmaceutical and psychosexual - why not consider some of these option together to see how this can be addressed. It is common that when one partner experiences sexual difficulty the overall intimacy in the relationship declines - this is likely to be part of what you are missing and it is fair that you have this need (and your sexual needs) addressed in some way.
As a first recommendation - try to get your boyfriend checked out physically by a GP or urologist. If he gets the all clear, then both of you go to see a health professional with experience in this area.
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