Our expert says:
Your description of the reality of your life and relationship and its impact on your sexual relationship is very very common.
Your predicament I would say applies to almost 70% of heterosexual women I see as a sexologist, who have children and need to work full time.
Unfortunately this forum would not be sufficient to address your problem. The reality you and your husband find yourself in has come into existence over time by the setting in of patterns of behaviour, often driven by pre-existing ideas, beliefs, values and cutlural practices with regards to the role of wife, mother, father, husband etc, each shaped by your individual families of origin.
On top of that you both have your individual personalities, temperaments and ways or reacting to difficult and challenging situations.
My best advice would be to consult a couples & sex therapist to help you unravel and then navigate a new path for your relationship and sexual relationship.
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