Our expert says:
I would strongly recommend that you and your wife consult a therapist in your area who practices sex therapy. Your wife has already experienced pain during sex and may now be experiencing anticipatory pain when you attempt penetrative sex, which will result in her anxiety levels being increased, she will not lubricate well and be tense and will result in repeated negative sexual experiences for you both.
A therapist will assist you as a couple to in a step by step manner to overcome the difficulty with penetrative sex. It will first involve a process of education about sexual anatomy amongst other topics. If you continue attempting penetrative sex under the present circumstances your wife who is already experiencing dyspareunia (pain during sex) could develop vaginismus (the involuntary constriction of the vaginal opening) causing penetration to be impossible or very painful.
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