Our expert says:
The delivery of a new beautiful baby can bring great joy to a family but can often complicate the sex lives of new parents. Fatigue and loss of interest on the part of the mother is exceptionally common. Hormonal changes, parental responsibilities, changes in body image, post partum mood changes, the added stresses and strains of new social roles and changes in the roles that couples play for each other are just a few reasons for this.
As you describe it, having sex 3 to 4 times a week is still above average for your situation but there is clearly a mismatch between your and your husbands desire with a break in understanding of how to reconcile the two.
A new father can often feel marginalized by a new baby, and his behaviour may be an indirect way of communicating his frustrations. It is often hard to adapt, and even harder to find ways of directly talking about ones sexual needs. His sleeping may be a way of avoiding confrontation on these issues.
It sounds like there is little direct communication about the dilemma you face. Your predicament is a common one, and it sounds like you do have many grandparents around who may be able to take some of the responsibilities of babysitting while you reconnect with your husband so that you can both find a middle ground from which to rekindle your relationship. You will both need to find understanding for the others predicament and carefully tend to each other your needs during the time when baby care can monopolize everyones attention.
If this is not possible, I would strongly advise seeking help with a sex counselor, as left untended these types of problems can become much worse.
SASHA. For further information please consult SASHA’S website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru. For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org
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