Our expert says:
There are a number of reasons for always having had a low sex drive, including natural variation between people, but in more severe cases it could be due to physiological factors, or even restrictive/negative learning about sex or sexual relationships such that sexuality is suppressed or ‘deprioritised’. Drive can also fluctuate during the menstrual cycle, and typically is higher in the first 6mnths-3yrs of a relationship (due to chemical/hormonal changes in this time). If you feel that he is obsessed, it is possible that your response is to shut down further due to feeling that you're always being the one to say 'no', or being a sexual object, or even being turned off by his unremitting advances.
When it comes to discussing the differences in sexual needs (which is VERY common) I always encourage both partners to be willing to understand what it is like for the other partner and then come to some middle ground / a negotiated compromise. It would be unreasonable for him to expect you to operate like him - perhaps try to explain to him in non-sexual terms (e.g. How would you feel if I always tried to make you eat with me if you weren't hungry but I was? Sometimes you might be able to, sometimes it might make you feel sick. This is similar to my sexual appetite).
There is no documented evidence ever of a man dying due to sexual frustration, so don't die in a ditch over saying no, he can handle it, but you might wish to choose to be sexual sometimes to meet some of his needs, and if you direct him to do things which please you, you might even notice desire emerges once you have become aroused.
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