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Question
Posted by: Nats | 2012/02/09

No sex

I''ve been married for 12 years - I''m turning 36 and my husband 42. We don''t have sex anymore, and I''m not complaining about it because I am just too tired. I am worried that it cannot be healthy in a marriage, or can it??? Apart from not having sex, we have a very good marriage. When I do initiate sex (because I feel so bad that we haven''t had sex in months), and try to get my husband in the mood, he doesn''t respond, so then I just leave it. I sometimes give him a bj, but he is not interested in having sex. He doesn''t complain about it either, and I''ve brought it up in a conversation at the end of last year, because I am concerned about it. He said that he sometimes do feel like it, but is just too tired. He''s got his own business, which is very stressful, I work, and because it is quite some distance from home, I have to get up at 04h30 to be to work in time (to avoid traffic). We also cycle to keep in shape and stay fit. We cycle four times a week - Tuesdays and Thursdays - now in summer in the morning, that means that we get up at 03h00, go for a cycle, get back by 04h30, then I need to get ready to get to work on time, and over weekends we start at 04h30 to avoid traffic - so in the week when I get home at night, when I''m done with the chores, seeing to our 9 year old son, homework, cooking etc, I just want to sleep. If we both feel this way, is it okay or am I missing something here?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

It's entirely up to the two of you, there are no rules that say that you have to have sex in a marriage/relationship. As long as you are BOTH ok with this, then it is your choice.
Claire - SASHA
For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: brendon | 2012/05/23

i can over it to you

Reply to brendon
Posted by: Daniella | 2012/02/16

Married for 17 years. havent had sex for 3. NEED IT. Hubby doesnt appear interested. I have started fantasizing....I NEED HELP before I look for it elsewhere!

Reply to Daniella
Posted by: HOT CHILLI | 2012/02/10

he is getting it elsewhere.........................

Reply to HOT CHILLI
Posted by: Anon | 2012/02/09

I''v been married for 15 years also 42 same as your hubby. We have great sex, lots of fun trying new things all the time. Our relationship best in 15 years, great sex big part of our relationship. If I were you, with your hectic lifestyle, I would drop the cycling and rather do sex instead. You are missing out on lots of fun and a major relationship builder. You even burn lots of KJ while doing it.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: XXX | 2012/02/09

I doubt very much whether a relationship,especially at your ages,can continue without sex.It might not be a problem now but at some stage it might/will.
I would be concerned that my partner would be open to possible affairs at some stage.Sex is a very important part of a relationship,don''t ever forget that.
I also cycle but getting up at 3 am seems crazy!
It " appears"  that your relationship is comfortable without sex for now BUT I would look to make time so you can re-kindle that aspect of your marriage.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Tom | 2012/02/09

Yes u are missing the best thing in life....sex

Reply to Tom
Posted by: Sexologist | 2012/02/09

It's entirely up to the two of you, there are no rules that say that you have to have sex in a marriage/relationship. As long as you are BOTH ok with this, then it is your choice.
Claire - SASHA
For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com

Reply to Sexologist

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