Our expert says:
AHA. Now you reveal something far more complex than suggested by the original question
You definitely need to see a good practical psychotherapist to work on this, as you are describing a recurring self-defeating pattern of behaviour. You seem to have, for whatever reason, a built-in assumption that separates love and sex --- that sex is great except with someone you love, and love is marvellous except when you have sex with that person. This disconnect is not compulsory, but exploring how it came about and how it affects you, and modifying it, could open you to far greater happiness.
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