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Question
Posted by: Lhoza | 2012/03/01

No orgasm

I am a healthy 30 year old in a loving healthy relationship, sex is good but I never reach orgasm, my mind doesnt wander off, there is no sensation or stimulation down there what so ever no matter which position we try, i get the goose bumps and stuff when we tounch and kiss and during sex but they dont lead me to tht nice feeling of orgasm, i only feel it when i come but never reach the climax .its 2 out of 10 times that i do reach it.
please help.even with foreplay, i enjoy it but never reach orgasm.I dnt want to nag my partner by wanting sex all the time.what could be my problem?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear Lhoza,

Anorgasmia (inability to reach or difficulty to achieve orgasm) is still a very common problem among women.

There are normally 2 aspects we address. Firstly is the woman orgasmic during masturbation? Does she know her own body? Does she know what kind of touch and stimulation of her clitoris works for her and results in her reaching orgasm? If a woman knows this and is comfortable with her body, and does not have obstacles such as issues of shame and guilt about sex or past traumatic sexual experiences influencing her ability to relax into sexual pleasure, or has repressed resentments and unresolved feelings about her sexual partner then one half of the challenge is dealt with.

The second is the fact that most woman do not achieve orgasm by means of penetrative sex alone. In most sexual positions there is not sufficient direct stimulation of the clitoris during penetrative thrusting that will result in orgasm. So how well does the partner know your body? Does your partner know what type of stimulation works to bring you to orgasm. If you wish to reach orgasm during penetrative sex then usually the woman also needs to stimulate her clitoris or the partner adds stimulation to the clitoris, depending on the sexual position and the partner's ability to access stimulation to the clitoris.

Otherwise the partner can bring you to orgasm before or after penetrative sex using his hands or tongue.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: sexologist | 2012/03/01

Dear Lhoza,

Anorgasmia (inability to reach or difficulty to achieve orgasm) is still a very common problem among women.

There are normally 2 aspects we address. Firstly is the woman orgasmic during masturbation? Does she know her own body? Does she know what kind of touch and stimulation of her clitoris works for her and results in her reaching orgasm? If a woman knows this and is comfortable with her body, and does not have obstacles such as issues of shame and guilt about sex or past traumatic sexual experiences influencing her ability to relax into sexual pleasure, or has repressed resentments and unresolved feelings about her sexual partner then one half of the challenge is dealt with.

The second is the fact that most woman do not achieve orgasm by means of penetrative sex alone. In most sexual positions there is not sufficient direct stimulation of the clitoris during penetrative thrusting that will result in orgasm. So how well does the partner know your body? Does your partner know what type of stimulation works to bring you to orgasm. If you wish to reach orgasm during penetrative sex then usually the woman also needs to stimulate her clitoris or the partner adds stimulation to the clitoris, depending on the sexual position and the partner's ability to access stimulation to the clitoris.

Otherwise the partner can bring you to orgasm before or after penetrative sex using his hands or tongue.

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