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Question
Posted by: Jackie | 2011/09/20

no more sex

dear doctor I am married for 18 years and have enjoyed a good sexual relationship with my husband. However in the past couple of years (5-6yrs) ago my husband does not seem interested in having sex anymore - he is 47 years old now. What do you think?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageAgeing and Sexuality expert

I always refer men to a medical specialist when they present with lack of sexual interest. Often times there is an underlying disease such as cardio vascular disease, depression, diabetes which contributes to his lack of sexual interest. I would also get his testosterone checked as it may well be low.

Then as a therapist I would explore his relationships with himself and of course with you. The problem is that people in long lasting marriages get pretty familiar with each other hence they loose sexual interest . Or he may be cheating, masturbating to porn, or be drawn to men.. there are a million reasons why this is happening. So after the medical check up i suggest you two go for couples counselling.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Cassidy | 2011/11/23

dear doc,
i am 48 yrs old and have always had a very active sex life,however,over the past 3 months now,i have suffered extreme vaginal dryness and i do not enjoy sex as much anymore.i had a hystrectomy last year december and could this be part of the reason? i cannot understand because even after the operation,my sex life was 10 times more enjoyable as i didnt have abdominal pains after sex anymore.is there something i can use to hellp me with this problem?

Reply to Cassidy
Posted by: Just wondering | 2011/09/29

I live in a complicated 3 way same sex relationship.this has been for 16 yrs. I ''ll call us A B& C. A& B have been together for more than 30yrs. In B''s 40''s we met and fell in love this is my first same sex rel. We know A knows we have a special rel.it has never been openly discussed or admitted &  sometimes we all live together under one roof. Sexual contact between me C and B has due to circumstance been scares and with yrs I have The feeling B is losing sexual interest. I miss being intimate &  am finding I need this to feel ''alive'' in a way... I have seen someone who is not free so it seems ''safe'' as we both have our lives and don''t want to change anything. I do love B above all. But help, am I going through my teens again? Another thing, I have noticed it might be more the chase that turns me on...it is all very delicate all involved are highly educated powerful people...does not help as I travel a lot and tend to feel very lonely at times...any insight from the outside would be welcome. B &  myself will not break up things between B& A , would cause a public scandal , and A is elderly already!
Thank you for your time !!

Reply to Just wondering
Posted by: Ageing and Sexuality expert | 2011/09/27

I always refer men to a medical specialist when they present with lack of sexual interest. Often times there is an underlying disease such as cardio vascular disease, depression, diabetes which contributes to his lack of sexual interest. I would also get his testosterone checked as it may well be low.

Then as a therapist I would explore his relationships with himself and of course with you. The problem is that people in long lasting marriages get pretty familiar with each other hence they loose sexual interest . Or he may be cheating, masturbating to porn, or be drawn to men.. there are a million reasons why this is happening. So after the medical check up i suggest you two go for couples counselling.

Reply to Ageing and Sexuality expert

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