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Question
Posted by: pauly | 2011/02/04

no more oral sex

hi... my fiance and I have a small problem..

She has given me oral sex a few times ( 3) and I have given her oral sex.

The other day i asked het If I couldgive her oral sex and she said NO.. she doesnt like it.. giving and receiving.. she saya it feels impersonal , and she doesnt find it a turn on.

I dont know how to cope with this.. as I find a bit of Fellatio a great part of foreplay... I even suggested that we do oral immediatly after a shower.. but stuill she refuses.. It makes me feel rejected... any advice 

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear Pauly,

I would suggest you have a conversation with regards what about oral sex she specifically does not enjoy in giving and receiving and whether there is anyway as a couple some adjustments could be made to overcome those obstacles.

This kind of conversation could also be facilitated with the help of a sex therapist, especially if there may be any other underlying reasons that play a part in her dislike of oral sex and should oral sex just not be something she really just does not enjoy, the therapist could assist you explore how you can work around this.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Muhammad | 2011/02/11

Respect her wishes.

Reply to Muhammad
Posted by: shawn | 2011/02/05

Adding to the above comments...I''d say there is no Women in this planet that will refuse oral sex provided it is done in a pleasing manner. Some Q''s come to my mind. I this your only partner that u having this issue. If not then were the other partners satisfied, If it was no then u r doin some thing wrong. If u had same issues then u better take some lessons.Iam married 20 years now and I am 50 and my wife is 42 (she looks 25) She keeps in best shape so she deserves so she can get more oral all the time. Everytime we have sex she begs for oral sex. some times she wants nothing but oral. I give her orgasm after orgasm.Not bragging - just trying to explain if done in a manner that will please the other partner and done with hygiene in mind both partners can enjoy 69 and finish off with intercourse .google and find the best cullingulus methods. Good luck pal

Reply to shawn
Posted by: m | 2011/02/04

The way you are performing it may be the reason she dont like it. I like it slow and gentle - not this fast licking stuff lol. Going to fast will numb this as kc says. Perhaps she doesnt like it fast either. Think you should see if you could give it another go. I will never refused oral sex - its the best!

Reply to m
Posted by: KC | 2011/02/04

From a women''s point of view...orgal is not all that. It can be nice at times but it can also become really boring, especially if you are not turned on yet. So in actual fact it should not be part of foreplay. The other thing you need to understand is that if you spend too much time on the clitoris is looses " feeling" . So to do oral for too long just is not so great as you might think it is.

Reply to KC
Posted by: XXX | 2011/02/04

Sex and foreplay is a two way thing so you must respect her wishes.However,you do need to establish what the problem is.It could be that she does not like giving it !

A lot of people don't like it because of the " health"  risks-been quite a lot of publicity around it lately.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: sexologist | 2011/02/04

Dear Pauly,

I would suggest you have a conversation with regards what about oral sex she specifically does not enjoy in giving and receiving and whether there is anyway as a couple some adjustments could be made to overcome those obstacles.

This kind of conversation could also be facilitated with the help of a sex therapist, especially if there may be any other underlying reasons that play a part in her dislike of oral sex and should oral sex just not be something she really just does not enjoy, the therapist could assist you explore how you can work around this.

Reply to sexologist

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