Our expert says:
If your mother is so foolish as to continue making such harmful and stupid remarks, she deserves to be avoided, by those lucky enough to be able to avoid her, and told that she will continue to be avoided until she works with a therapist to break this rotten habit. Nice people never call other people a retard. This is frankly abusive.
Maybe she never in her own life had the experience of good mothering, but good grief, even reading magazines or watching television will have shown her how good mothers behave. When you camly but firmly tell her how hurtful and unhelpful this is --- what does she say ?
You are right to decide not to be like her. Maybe you can help your younger sibs by talking with them, explaining that your mother bever larned how to be a loving mother, and that, hard though it is, they must not take her cruel comments seriously, as these are highly inaccurate, and that you and others recognize how wonderful they actually are. And maybe don't bite your tongue so often, but calmly tell her her comments are damaging, cruel, and unhelpful, and that not everyone considers her opinion about what is good, to be valuid or useful. what do other readers think ?
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