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Question
Posted by: Lucky | 2010/06/15

No libido and toys

What is the connection between low libido and sex toys? This may seem like a strange question. My fiancee has a really low libido as a result of past sexual abuse and suffering from depression. When she is not on anti depressants, she still does not initiate. But then her vibrator is plugged in next to her bed. When she is on anti depressants, it is stowed away. So, is low libido only about being intimate with someone else? If you want to please yourself, surely your libido can''t be that low? Anyway, it is just an interesting observation which got me thinking. She has intimacy and trust issues as a result of the past abuse. Maybe the vibrator is " safer"  in her mind as she is still going through the healing process?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear Lucky

It is difficult for me to comment as it seems that there are a few issues which may be affecting your fiancee's libido and your sexual relationship. I would recommend that you perhaps discuss this with a sexual therapist. You can call the SASHA (South African Sexual Health Association) Helpline on 0860 100 262. Leave your name and number and you will be contacted about who you can see in your area.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: alex | 2010/06/15

i think she only trusts herself at this point.

maybe you can gain her trust by asking to use the vibrator, because she may be seeing the vibrator as her ''trust worthy'' partner - if she says yes - then you will have top tred lightly first and ask her how she wants it, how you must use it, etc.

work slowly frmo that point i reckon.

Reply to alex
Posted by: sexologist | 2010/06/15

Dear Lucky

It is difficult for me to comment as it seems that there are a few issues which may be affecting your fiancee's libido and your sexual relationship. I would recommend that you perhaps discuss this with a sexual therapist. You can call the SASHA (South African Sexual Health Association) Helpline on 0860 100 262. Leave your name and number and you will be contacted about who you can see in your area.

Reply to sexologist

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