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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2011/09/05

No interest in sex at all

Hi Doctor,

Please help. I am a 29 year old female, I only started having sex when I was 23. The first time was not painful or anything but it was not amazing at all. I have a wonderful boyfriend right now that always wonders if I am ok because I have no interest in sex at all.
When he initiates I get a bit irritated, but will go through with it anyway. Now I don''t want him to kiss me because I know it might lead to us having sex. it is not painful or anything when we do have sex (make love) and I do enjoy it most of the time when we are doing it but beforehand I think it''s just a mission. I don''t get aroused easily as well.
I try not to sit next to him so that I would not touch him or him me. I so much love when he holds me but can''t risk it, so now our relationship is a cold cold one.
We haven''t had sex in 2 months now, . He is 30 and I think he feels I don''t love him, because we are still at our prime ages.
What is wrong with me? What can I do to make it right?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

please consult a therapist. the therapist will be able to identify the chief concern and help you address it in a proper manner. this should be a matter of urgency as your behaviour to your husband will have a negative impact on both him and your relationship.

For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Ellie | 2011/09/15

I also had no interest in sex until my blood pressure tablet was changed for other reasons. It has turned my life around.

Reply to Ellie
Posted by: sexologist | 2011/09/07

please consult a therapist. the therapist will be able to identify the chief concern and help you address it in a proper manner. this should be a matter of urgency as your behaviour to your husband will have a negative impact on both him and your relationship.

For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com

Reply to sexologist
Posted by: Anon | 2011/09/06

The bottom line is, men have needs, and this wonderful man is going to end up cheating on you and leaving you if you are not mindful of his needs.

You need to stop seeing sex as such an effort and a mission. You need to think of it as a way of expressing your love for him and meeting his needs.

Relationships are full of sacrifices and this is one you are going to have to make if you want to keep your man. But stop seeing it as such hard work. Sex, with the right frame of mind and attitude is awesome.

For yourself, arousal starts in the mind. Think about sex, read stories, conjure up little fantasies in your head. Make up sexual stories, and tell them to him. Let yourself go. remember, its a fantasy - nothing you ever have to actually do. Just let yourself go and have fun.

Know your body, you need to know what you like in order to coach your man in how to please you and dont be scared to tell him what you want. I think you will find that he will be only too glad to oblige.

Good luck

Reply to Anon

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