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Posted by: KELSEY | 2012/09/05

NO FUTURE

So after 6 years my bf has admitted that he cannot live with me. i have been hanging onto his words that oneday he would but it seems that oneday will never come. Looking back he now thinks that he wouldnt have been able to get married the first time around but his wife fall pregnant and he did want children so he married her.

He says I will take away his freedom and be controlling (I am not even controlling now??) He basically told me that he just wants to enjoy life and have fun, travel and have a good time. He is scared that if I live with him it will change everything. Wow my little world has come crashing down - the writing is on the wall here..I have no future with him

So how do I leave and pick up the pieces?? We have a great time together I love him so much but I cannot stay knowing this is all he can give and he never wants to commit to me. I am so scared to leave, worried if I will regret it, knowing I will miss him. He says counselling is a waste and thats who he is. I have been asking for the last few years every few months or so about us moving forward and I have always got the same answer " not now I am not ready"  but recently he has admitted that he doesnt think he will ever be ready. How on earth do you get over someone that you still love and adore?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It took him SIX years to discover he "can't" live with you ? Is that believable ? A guy whose main aim in life is fun, is no fit mate for anyone ; maybe once he grows up, but its hard to guess how long that might take.
Why did you patiently wait with him for so long, assuming he would eventually grow up and choose to be with you permanently rather than just while it suited him ?
And what happened to his wife and child ?
See a counsellor, and revise your decision to "love and adore" someone who is definitely not loving or loveable, nor worthy of adoration.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Jessica | 2012/09/08

I have bean seen this man for almost five years now, and i don''t see no future in this relationship. Between the first to years with him, he went and married his son mother behind my back, i find that out by finding his Fl marriage lincense. His excuse for that was " She had trick me and i was drunk"  like really! who does that? He alway telling me dont worry things will be ok, i got you and the next minute he is back to his old ways. He have houses plus he still holding on to his aprtment in the city (wich is, I have never seen any of them) but he always wants to be in my place and the minute I start talking about him helping me out, he just flip the scrip and act like thats all i care about. His description of a relationship and LOVE is his sexual needs. The caring, respect, support, listening to each other, love etc, etc....it doesn''t really matter to him. The sad part about this, is that he looks at me an ask, why? I change so much and i''m not the same loving(sex) person i use to be. Really? You can always take and take a woman for granting and expect everythin will remain the same. THE IS NO FUTURE IN A SELFISH RELATIONSHIP.

Reply to Jessica
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/09/05

It took him SIX years to discover he "can't" live with you ? Is that believable ? A guy whose main aim in life is fun, is no fit mate for anyone ; maybe once he grows up, but its hard to guess how long that might take.
Why did you patiently wait with him for so long, assuming he would eventually grow up and choose to be with you permanently rather than just while it suited him ?
And what happened to his wife and child ?
See a counsellor, and revise your decision to "love and adore" someone who is definitely not loving or loveable, nor worthy of adoration.

Reply to cybershrink

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