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Question
Posted by: Jessie | 2011/10/19

No family support

Hi There
I had an incident and I couldn''t believe my family''s reaction.
We went to a restaurant and my sister was being a bitch they did nothing about it so I left and went to eat on another table inside the restaurant.

She is not talking to me and when we got to the restaurant and were being seated she insisted that my brother sit next to her not me and then went on to give me these filthy looks not once a couple of times - I reacted by telling her " Don''t you give me filthy looks!"  in which my family jumped and told me to keep quiet and sit - my father overlooks everything she does I then told them “  do you all not see how she''s behaving? They told me that they wanted to eat have a nice dinner just to keep quiet sit down.

I sat down shocked that she was allowed to behave this way I''m suppose to just let it slide? So I stood up for myself and went to sit upstairs . They had too much pride my mother phones me shouts at me to come to their table I refused ordered my drink - next my brother phones me to say they leaving and that I should too otherwise walk home.

Landed up leaving the place - I was glad that I stood up for myself but disappointed that the family accepted the treatment as a norm and reprimanded me for it. Tired of being the adult I''m 2 yrs younger than her but I always have to overlook things to keep the peace.
I plan on confronting them about this - is it a good idea had enough

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like a dysfunctional family, unable to handle conflict or misbehaviour by anyone. Presumably you had the choice not to go out with the family ( you don't mention anyone's ages, so its hard to assess how childish you were all being, as it sounds like a group of 6 year-olds, parents included ).
FIlthy looks are almost always best ignored - whatever she was doing was presumably intended to upset and anger you, and to get you into trouble with your parents. By reacting as she wanted, you played exactly into her hands, and gave her exactly what she wanted. Ignoring her would have been the wiser and more mature thing to do, and would pleasingly frustrate her. Try that next time

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Jenna | 2011/10/19

In all honesty, that sounds like a pretty petty problem you have. I come from a family of 5 girls (me included) –  trust me I know petty. Going to sit somewhere else is not a sign of maturity and standing up for yourself- it is just as immature. Your family telling you that you must keep quiet (when you ask your sister to stop giving you looks) isn’ t them choosing sides- it’ s them not wanting to look like a hooligan family with kids that can’ t stop fighting. I am saying kids because really you don’ t seem to be older than 16. If you want to be treated like an adult, act like an adult and take some time to speak to them instead of throwing your toys out the cot and going to eat alone. It’ s embarrassing to your family- obviously people are going to see the way you are acting. They won’ t see the way your sister acts because she is being stealthy while you are being obvious.

Reply to Jenna
Posted by: Queen | 2011/10/19

This is very childish and someone including your parents should grow up. Because you took the first step of writing to cybershrink this is a sign of maturity. If I may ask how old are you?

Reply to Queen
Posted by: My veiw | 2011/10/19

That''s pure favouritism.

Reply to My veiw
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/10/19

Sounds like a dysfunctional family, unable to handle conflict or misbehaviour by anyone. Presumably you had the choice not to go out with the family ( you don't mention anyone's ages, so its hard to assess how childish you were all being, as it sounds like a group of 6 year-olds, parents included ).
FIlthy looks are almost always best ignored - whatever she was doing was presumably intended to upset and anger you, and to get you into trouble with your parents. By reacting as she wanted, you played exactly into her hands, and gave her exactly what she wanted. Ignoring her would have been the wiser and more mature thing to do, and would pleasingly frustrate her. Try that next time

Reply to cybershrink

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