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Question
Posted by: An | 2010/08/02

Newphews

Hi there

I was wondering if i could get some advice. I have two sisters one has a 2 year old son and the other has a 4 year old son. Well, the one of 4 attends a creche and a few weeks back started showing the girls his private parts. On Saturday the two boys where playing in the bedroom in a liitle tent when the 2 year old started crying on investigation they found the 4 year old one had pulled the 2 year old pants down,unclipped his vest, as well as his pamper nappi. A couple of hours later my sister (one with the 2 year old walked into the room and the 4 year old was standing there with his pants off and had an erection. How do we go about explaining to the 4 year old that what he is doing is wrong without causing permanent damage to the child, also do you think we should investigate the creche.

Help please we have never dealt with this before.

Thanks
AN

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It would be worth looking more closely at the creche, in a tactful way - as well as asking the boy calmly and pleasantly, whether he has seen other kids behaving in this way, and if so, who and where.
Some kids do invent such ways of exploring on their own, but others are trying out something they've seen elsewhere. Its generally innocent in the sense that the kid has no idea why adults tend to get freaked out by such behaviour. If you caught the kids examining or playing with each others elbows, it obviously wouldn't bother you. Kids are beginning to explore not only their own bodiesm and those of others, where available, but also exploring the meaning of the way adults espond to such matters.
And talk calmly to the kid about what he has been doing, and explain that these body parts are considered private and not something to show to others or play with in that way, emphasizing the matter of privacy an good social manners rather than making it an explicitly sexual thing.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/08/03

It would be worth looking more closely at the creche, in a tactful way - as well as asking the boy calmly and pleasantly, whether he has seen other kids behaving in this way, and if so, who and where.
Some kids do invent such ways of exploring on their own, but others are trying out something they've seen elsewhere. Its generally innocent in the sense that the kid has no idea why adults tend to get freaked out by such behaviour. If you caught the kids examining or playing with each others elbows, it obviously wouldn't bother you. Kids are beginning to explore not only their own bodiesm and those of others, where available, but also exploring the meaning of the way adults espond to such matters.
And talk calmly to the kid about what he has been doing, and explain that these body parts are considered private and not something to show to others or play with in that way, emphasizing the matter of privacy an good social manners rather than making it an explicitly sexual thing.

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