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Question
Posted by: Nelly | 2009/12/17

New love

I was in a relationship for 4 years with a serial cheat. Three weeks ago I met someone and decided to end the relationship with my cheating boyfriend. I sometimes feel like I should have waited before getting into a new relationship because I feel sooo insecure, he spends more of his time at work so much that I sometimes feel like he is lying when he says he is at work. We do spend weekends together but everytime when he speeds off on sundays to do this or that at work it makes go crazy.

Another thing is, I keep pestering him on commiting to me/our relationship and his response is always that he is enjoying our friendship and taking everything one step at the time. I sometimes feel like I should go back to my cheating ex because he still wants me back.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It was surely wise to end the relationship with the serial cheat - but why rush into another relationship before you have healed from the last one ? And why are you looking for committment so early on, before you even know him properly ? Don't go back to your cheating ex - if he wants you back at all, it's only for selfish reasons. Have more respect for yourself, and take your time. You are a good and worthy person in your own right and without any relationship at all - have one when it's with the right person and when you are ready and not so desperate

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: maggie | 2009/12/17

No no commiting after 3 weeks!! You sounds o so desperate and very very insecure. Nobody wants a girl like this. Give it time. Take time to heal from the previous relationship. You must 1st build on your friendship before commiting .... DO NOT GO BACK TO THE EX.... or do you think that little about yourself?You must now consentrate on finding yourself, healing etc

Reply to maggie
Posted by: Really | 2009/12/17

Ok.... You' ve only been with this new guy, for say, 3 weeks and you already want him to committ... you have spent weekends together???? You mean within these three weeks or before?

I' d say, you need time to get over your ex... 3 weeks is not long enough to get over a person and after 3 years of a relationship..... it' s not fair on the " new"  partner and on yourself.

Rebound of no Rebound, you need to deal with your ending relationship before you start a new one.... Maybe now is the best time... end of the year... end of a relationship, new year coming, beginning of a better brand new relationship??? what do you think?

Think about it!

Reply to Really
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/12/17

It was surely wise to end the relationship with the serial cheat - but why rush into another relationship before you have healed from the last one ? And why are you looking for committment so early on, before you even know him properly ? Don't go back to your cheating ex - if he wants you back at all, it's only for selfish reasons. Have more respect for yourself, and take your time. You are a good and worthy person in your own right and without any relationship at all - have one when it's with the right person and when you are ready and not so desperate

Reply to cybershrink

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