Our expert says:
I'm so pleased to hear that, after the shock of an un expected redundancy, you have found a new job so soon - well done ! Maybe you're now experiencing a mix of reactions - a delayed reaction to the shock and anxiety of re-locating, and the unexpected "new boy in school" sense of starting at a new company, and beginning again to establish friends and networks.
Grief is inded part of the mix. The only point at which I would differ from your wife is that the model of grief ( "shock, depression, anger, barganing, acceptance") is entirely false - it was invented by a weird old Swiss woman I knew personally, who was somewhat batty at times, and preached this as a rigid model ( as well as falsely claiming it to be an original discovery of her own ), and encouraged its rigid application to people in ways that did great harm and were seldom helpful.
Yes, as was known long before she arrived on the scene, it has been well known that amongst the modes of reacting to shocking loss and threats, are denial, negotation, anger and grief - but they mix and swirl in a complex mixture of reactions, and are NEVER a tidy sequence of steps as she preached.
Counselling could help you, but I expect you will settle down pretty well before long. When you feel a bit odd or estranged, simply notice it as part opf the reactions to the changes you have faced, and move on to concentrate on something different. Yes, face the face that you grieve for the old job which was satisfying and is gone, recogniz that its loss was not your fault, and prepare to move on, but without expecting any specific step-wise progression of reactions
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