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Question
Posted by: Rick | 2010-09-08

New job after retrenchment

Hi CS,

I got retrenched last month, which came as a total shock to me. Fortunately I was blessed enough to find a nw job within a few weeks.

Im struggling terribly with feelings of insecurity and feeling isolated. I started this job on 1 sept, and the people here are really great and welcoming, but Im struggling to feel normal and myself . Im a confident person by nature and this is not the first new job Ive had.

Do you think that my retrenchment shock and feeling of depression ( when I was told) still has tendrills that are eating into me?

My wife told me that I need to deal with it as though I was dealing with grief ( shock, depression, anger, barganing, acceptance), only that way will I be truly able to walk away from that old job, and relish my new one.

What do you think?

Thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I'm so pleased to hear that, after the shock of an un expected redundancy, you have found a new job so soon - well done ! Maybe you're now experiencing a mix of reactions - a delayed reaction to the shock and anxiety of re-locating, and the unexpected "new boy in school" sense of starting at a new company, and beginning again to establish friends and networks.
Grief is inded part of the mix. The only point at which I would differ from your wife is that the model of grief ( "shock, depression, anger, barganing, acceptance") is entirely false - it was invented by a weird old Swiss woman I knew personally, who was somewhat batty at times, and preached this as a rigid model ( as well as falsely claiming it to be an original discovery of her own ), and encouraged its rigid application to people in ways that did great harm and were seldom helpful.
Yes, as was known long before she arrived on the scene, it has been well known that amongst the modes of reacting to shocking loss and threats, are denial, negotation, anger and grief - but they mix and swirl in a complex mixture of reactions, and are NEVER a tidy sequence of steps as she preached.
Counselling could help you, but I expect you will settle down pretty well before long. When you feel a bit odd or estranged, simply notice it as part opf the reactions to the changes you have faced, and move on to concentrate on something different. Yes, face the face that you grieve for the old job which was satisfying and is gone, recogniz that its loss was not your fault, and prepare to move on, but without expecting any specific step-wise progression of reactions

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Been there | 2010-09-09

Yes, I must say you have done very well indeed to secure another position so quickly especially nowadays where jobs are difficult to come by.
I can relate to your feelings that are entirely normal, after all, as in my case, I felt it personally, ie that I was not good enough etc etc. It did not take me long to realise that those feelings were completely out of place. The retrenchment was just something that has affected many others, some really good people were let go. As sooin as I realised it was not ME, it made a huge difference to my outlook.
You have proved to yourself that it was not you nor your ability, as someone else recognised your talents enough to employ you again.
Obviously starting at a new job is always a bit daunting, getting to know everyone, the routine etc etc. Just be yourself and look to your past work ethic elsewhere. Did you have a problem starting there ?

You sound like a normal stable person and I am sure you will settle down. Good luck. By the way let us know how you handle this situation going forward.

Reply to Been there
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-09-08

I'm so pleased to hear that, after the shock of an un expected redundancy, you have found a new job so soon - well done ! Maybe you're now experiencing a mix of reactions - a delayed reaction to the shock and anxiety of re-locating, and the unexpected "new boy in school" sense of starting at a new company, and beginning again to establish friends and networks.
Grief is inded part of the mix. The only point at which I would differ from your wife is that the model of grief ( "shock, depression, anger, barganing, acceptance") is entirely false - it was invented by a weird old Swiss woman I knew personally, who was somewhat batty at times, and preached this as a rigid model ( as well as falsely claiming it to be an original discovery of her own ), and encouraged its rigid application to people in ways that did great harm and were seldom helpful.
Yes, as was known long before she arrived on the scene, it has been well known that amongst the modes of reacting to shocking loss and threats, are denial, negotation, anger and grief - but they mix and swirl in a complex mixture of reactions, and are NEVER a tidy sequence of steps as she preached.
Counselling could help you, but I expect you will settle down pretty well before long. When you feel a bit odd or estranged, simply notice it as part opf the reactions to the changes you have faced, and move on to concentrate on something different. Yes, face the face that you grieve for the old job which was satisfying and is gone, recogniz that its loss was not your fault, and prepare to move on, but without expecting any specific step-wise progression of reactions

Reply to cybershrink

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