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Question
Posted by: Nervous | 2010-07-22

nervous to live together..

after many years of waiting, i have finally met a wonderful man, we are engaged and having a baby in a month. We have just bought a cute house together but somehow i am terrified of moving in permanently.. have never lived with anyone (even at 40) and am scared i won''t have space and time to myself anymore. Fear he will get bored and restless..
tho i know he loves me dearly and i him, how does one adapt to living with someone else after so long of being a free agent?!
thanx
Nervous

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It sounds awfully sudden, the way you describe it, though maybe it wasn't actually so. For anyone thoughtful, especially if you have had quite a number of years getting used to living on your on and needing only to satisfy yourself, it can be a bit worrying to wonder how to get used to living with aother person ( soon to be two other people !) but this is something the pair of you can work out together without any major problem being necessary,
Maybe one of the ket ingredients is to be pleasantly frank with each other and TALK about any problems or annoyances what turn up, rather than keepin g quiet about something until it gows into a much biger problem than it needs to be

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Lin | 2010-07-22

Your fears are quite normal. It IS difficult living with someone. My hubby and I have been living together for 11 years. I still sometimes find it difficult. And in the beginning it''s really hard, because you need to get used to each other and each other''s little (annoying) habits.
Regarding the space and time. Make it! Make time for yourself when hubby goes out for a man''s night out. Space - Create a nice nook in your house where you can spend quality alone time. Even if it''s just an armchair in the corner where you can quietly read a book.

Reply to Lin
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-07-22

It sounds awfully sudden, the way you describe it, though maybe it wasn't actually so. For anyone thoughtful, especially if you have had quite a number of years getting used to living on your on and needing only to satisfy yourself, it can be a bit worrying to wonder how to get used to living with aother person ( soon to be two other people !) but this is something the pair of you can work out together without any major problem being necessary,
Maybe one of the ket ingredients is to be pleasantly frank with each other and TALK about any problems or annoyances what turn up, rather than keepin g quiet about something until it gows into a much biger problem than it needs to be

Reply to cybershrink

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