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Question
Posted by: felicity | 2011-05-01

neighbours fighting in front of 3 year old

I am not one of these nosy neighbours, in fact I like to be left alone and not do the whole neighbourly thing. I have a youngish couple who moved in about 2 years ago and they fight constantly (using language that makes me as a 43 year old cringe) in front of their 3 year old son at least 3 times per week. My bedroom unfortunately fronts onto their living area and even with windows closed I can hear word for word the abusive fighting. The little one regularly is crying/whining and the other day was standing in the rain holding his teddy crying while his parents went beserk. I''ve phoned Childline-referred me to FAMSA,who advised the parents have to willingly come to them, phoned a Christian womans organisation who clearly told me as there is no physical abuse to the child they can''t do anything. My heart breaks for this little boy. Yesterday it sounded like physical violence between the parents and I''m sitting here fretting about a child who I don''t even know who is in the middle of this. The husband is not a very communicative type, the wife a teacher so I really need to know what I can do to help this poor child. I live in an upper class suburb.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

What a heart-rending picture you convey of this poor child and the selfish, immature and quite possibly unfit parents screaming at each other.
It is sad if any responsible organization is so ignorant as to assume that only physical abuse is significant or warrants intervention - though where they may be right is that it can be harder to prove. And isn't it also frightening that the wife is a teacher ? One wonders how she treats the kids in her care.
I agree with amanda that it could be a good idea to make video / sound clips in any form possible, and forward them to Childline and Child Welfare and even the media, accompanied by a complaint that Childline and whoever else is not properly trying to protect this poor child.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Tania | 2011-05-06

Hi, this I am sure will work, the next time you hear them having one of there fighting sessions, you should phone 10111 and ask to be put through to the child protection make sure you let them know that there is a 3 year old child in the middle of the fighting.

They will be there within no time " full force"  and approach the parents.

Every time this happens phone in and report them eventually they will either do something about it or you may have a better leg to stand on as child line would be able to get the police reports and see how often it happens and then maybe there intervention will work.

Reply to Tania
Posted by: felicity | 2011-05-02

Did the sleuth number today and they didn''t have fight so will perservere till I get something which one of the organisation may take seriously. Heard the little one tell his Mom to " shut up are you stupid or something"  (not fast enough with the cellphone to record"  and thought about how the child is being influenced by his parents. Thanks for responses as I am feeling so bad for that poor little boy who will grow up thinking relationships like this are normal-god forbid.

Reply to felicity
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-05-02

What a heart-rending picture you convey of this poor child and the selfish, immature and quite possibly unfit parents screaming at each other.
It is sad if any responsible organization is so ignorant as to assume that only physical abuse is significant or warrants intervention - though where they may be right is that it can be harder to prove. And isn't it also frightening that the wife is a teacher ? One wonders how she treats the kids in her care.
I agree with amanda that it could be a good idea to make video / sound clips in any form possible, and forward them to Childline and Child Welfare and even the media, accompanied by a complaint that Childline and whoever else is not properly trying to protect this poor child.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Amanda | 2011-05-01

Maybe you should take a video clip / voice clip and send it to Childline and FAMSA. It is nonsense that just because it''s not physical it''s not abuse. Maybe take a couple of clips and send it, maybe then they''ll wake up. That poor boy.

Reply to Amanda

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