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Question
Posted by: SOS | 2011/11/14

negative partner

My boyfriend just doesnt ever engage in talking and solving problems but would rather just ignore it and hope it goes away and frequently twists what I say and what started off as a genuine concern ends up as me being a terrible person (in his mind). It''s incredibly frustrating and hurtful. He is also so negative and is in a bad mood 80% of the time. Considering we''ve only been together for almost 4 months, it means e has been this way for the largest percentage of our time in this relationship. I don''t know how to deal with it: when I left him alone to deal with it in his own way it resulted in a HUGE fight (where the core problem cant be solved coz he doesnt like to talk about stuff) and when I ask him if he''s ok and try and be understanding it annoys him. I''m at my wits end and quite frankly I''m fedup with it. It feel like he''s behaving like a spoilt child and I dont want to entertain this negative attitude and tantrum like behaviour anymore. What do I do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageBehaviour modification

WOW SOS! Only four months and he is in a bad mood 80% of the time? Can you see yourself putting up with this for much longer? In the early stages of a relationship we tend to be on our best behavior. If this is happening now I would hate to see where it ends up a year from now. It is not my place to tell you what to do. But if it were me I would end it before this relationship started affecting my self confidence. Do you deserve better? I believe you do!

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Our users say:
Posted by: Behaviour modification | 2011/11/18

WOW SOS! Only four months and he is in a bad mood 80% of the time? Can you see yourself putting up with this for much longer? In the early stages of a relationship we tend to be on our best behavior. If this is happening now I would hate to see where it ends up a year from now. It is not my place to tell you what to do. But if it were me I would end it before this relationship started affecting my self confidence. Do you deserve better? I believe you do!

Reply to Behaviour modification
Posted by: SOS | 2011/11/14

Besides the above mentioned I also want to add that my dad is currently battling cancer. My boyfriend knows this but continues to make life difficult for me. This evening for example, he makes a big deal of the fact that i hadnt sms''d him while I was out catching up with a friend (who happens to be male) but I told him who I would be with and he knows this man has been my friend since we were 15 years old (I am now 30). He made me out to be a terrible person. I just dont have the energy to deal with his behaviour ontop of the other things going on right now. What do I do to create a better environment for us?

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