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Question
Posted by: Liz | 2011/06/04

Negatiewe eggenoot

My man sien nou ''n sigiater op my aandrang. Hy het hom heeltemal van my ontrek al vir die afgelope 2 jaar. Sporadiese vergrype aan drank. (was al voorheen gereeld in inrigtings) Hy is die mees negatiefste mens, en is besig om die laaste bietjie menswees in my te vernietig. Hy kan niks goed se sit heeltyd met sy kop in sy hande. Met sy hande oor sy oe. Wat sal dit nou beteken? Kan my nie verdra of in die oe kyk? Ek is ''n suksesvolle beroepsvrou en goedversorg. Hy slaap meeste van die tyd, om my geselskap te vermy. Sit hy so met sy hande oor hy skuldig is of wat? Toe ons getroud is was hy nie so. Hoekom dan nou al die ongelukkigheid?Volgens ''n evaluering wat gedoen is is die volgende on andere in die verslag saamgestel: (
Die man ontken die die rolle in die gesin. Hy sien ''n besorgtheid en omgee vanaf die vrou se kant. Die man is vasgevang in ongelukkigheid. Hy kan hom nie spontaan aan die vrou oorgee. En ontrek eerder.
Hy ontken die seksuele verhouding. Hy hou rolle formeel en onpersoonlik. Daar blyk sekere emosionele trauma binne die -|- eks te wees. Hy kan hom nie spontaan oorgee. ) Dit is alles wat in die verslag staan. Ons dien die Dr. weer volgende week.
Ek is seergemaak voel verneder kwaad ens. Hy weier om te praat. Geen komminikasie. Heeldag moet ek rondspring en sy besigheid se boeke ens. doen. Ek het my eie voltydse werk. Sy besigheid ens. dit is al. Glo my ek vind geensins baat is die geld wat hy uit die besigheid maak. Ek moet vir myself sorg. Hy laat my 90% van die tyd soos ''n onwelkome gas voel. Ek kan nie meer.

Onlangs het hy besig reaggeer soos een wat ''n buiteegtelike verhouding het. My 6de sintuig se my hier is iets aan die gang.
Sy vorige vrou was volgens hom die slegste mens denkbaar ens. Maar wannneer hy dronk is roep hy na haar op ''n troetelnaam. Ek voel skoon naar van senuagtigheid weet nie moet ek sit of staan of iets se! Terloops hy het geen vriende nie ''n enkelle een!
Dit voel asof dit tyd is om te gaan.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This sounds like a major depression, with maybe a longer habit of negative thinking and negative interpretatiopn of everything he encounters. It must, indeed, FEEL as though it's about you, but it may not be, at all. Right now, he may be unable to do what you, quite reasonably, are expecting of him - but with proper treatment ( and I suspect he will need proper psychotherapy, perhaps of the CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy format ) as well as medication, to recover from this illness, he may surprise you by returning to the sort of man he presumably was before all this, maybe better.
sometimes a very depressed person wihdraws from you, both because he feels unable to live up to your expectations, and because he almost fears he might contaminate you with his misery.
Of course it is very frustrating when you feel frozen out and as though you are being prevented from helping. Maybe within his business is the only area where he still feel even a bit competent ?
Someone so depressed and negative is highly unlikely to get involved in any extra-marital affairs. It sounds as though his Ex hurt him very deeply, and yet when drunk ( and alcohol is of course very likely to worsen depression and reduce the efficacy of its treatment ), he may think back to the good times in that marriage, something he knows he has altogether lost.
Obviously he would usually see his psychiatrist alone, but do ask if you can see the shrink at least once, bot to explain your point of view, to better understand how the shrink assesses his situation, and how he recommends that you help promote your husband's recovery.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Liz | 2011/06/09

Ek sal ons was by die Dr Dinsdag en hy gaan volgende week vir die hipnose behandeling. Jy kan my e-pos by liz2020@webmail.co.za

Reply to Liz
Posted by: Ek | 2011/06/06

Hi Liz

Wat julle ookal doen, laat my weet hoe dit gaan en vorder. Ek voel amper soos jou man, maar nie in so n diepe mate nie.

Dankie en sterkte.

Reply to Ek
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/06/05

This sounds like a major depression, with maybe a longer habit of negative thinking and negative interpretatiopn of everything he encounters. It must, indeed, FEEL as though it's about you, but it may not be, at all. Right now, he may be unable to do what you, quite reasonably, are expecting of him - but with proper treatment ( and I suspect he will need proper psychotherapy, perhaps of the CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy format ) as well as medication, to recover from this illness, he may surprise you by returning to the sort of man he presumably was before all this, maybe better.
sometimes a very depressed person wihdraws from you, both because he feels unable to live up to your expectations, and because he almost fears he might contaminate you with his misery.
Of course it is very frustrating when you feel frozen out and as though you are being prevented from helping. Maybe within his business is the only area where he still feel even a bit competent ?
Someone so depressed and negative is highly unlikely to get involved in any extra-marital affairs. It sounds as though his Ex hurt him very deeply, and yet when drunk ( and alcohol is of course very likely to worsen depression and reduce the efficacy of its treatment ), he may think back to the good times in that marriage, something he knows he has altogether lost.
Obviously he would usually see his psychiatrist alone, but do ask if you can see the shrink at least once, bot to explain your point of view, to better understand how the shrink assesses his situation, and how he recommends that you help promote your husband's recovery.

Reply to cybershrink

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