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Question
Posted by: SUSAN | 2012/09/14

Need to move on!!

How do you get over someone that you have been with for years. My bf told me last week he doesnt think he will ever marry me and thinks its best I find someone who will be able to give me what I deserve - I have been asking why we were not moving forward. He doesnt want me to leave him, tells me that he still loves me and is not interested in anyone else but due to his bad marriage he doesnt think he could ever live with me or even marry someone else. He says he needs time to sort out his issues.

I know i just need to get on with my life but how do I do that when we were so close to someone and now nothing. I keep on wanting to sms or email him and those smses just end up hurting me as all he says is sorry. To throw 5 years away is horrible and it seems he is fine...although he says he is devasted but really if he was he wouldnt let me go.

I just need to know the what advice you give to someone wanting to move on. I have lived in the hope that he will come around as our relationship has been really good but he cant commit so I guess there wasnt really a relationship. I am angry at him for wasting my time, crying at night, not sleeping and grumpy with my children (which I know is unfair)

I know I must forget and move on but how do I do this?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sometimes situations are far less than we'd like them to be, but we ust need to accept them if we are to move on. Continuing to infulge in fond dreams of everything magically coming right can prevent one from getting ahead. At least he was decent enough to eventually face facts and be frank with you. OK, so in a sense you wasted some time, but focussing and brooding on that will only waste more time ; and if you let yourself learn from this experience, how to avoid similar errors in the future, then it won't be altogether a waste, and you may at least still have a friend so long as you dont expect him to become more than that

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Posted by: Pedro | 2012/09/24

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Reply to Pedro
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/09/15

Sometimes situations are far less than we'd like them to be, but we ust need to accept them if we are to move on. Continuing to infulge in fond dreams of everything magically coming right can prevent one from getting ahead. At least he was decent enough to eventually face facts and be frank with you. OK, so in a sense you wasted some time, but focussing and brooding on that will only waste more time ; and if you let yourself learn from this experience, how to avoid similar errors in the future, then it won't be altogether a waste, and you may at least still have a friend so long as you dont expect him to become more than that

Reply to cybershrink

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