Posted by: Kelly | 2008-12-01

Need to get him out my Life

Hi There!

I' v been in a relationship for almost a year now,i totally love this guy even though he dsnt tream me right most of the time.When he does i just love him to bits and overlook the bad.Its not that im that desperate that i hold on but i can really picture myslef with him, except for some changes.
He just dsnt seem to have any regard for time and things he tells me.We would have made plans to go out or do things, he wont turn up and will call or sms me an hr later to say he wont be able to make it.I know he has a hectic job and stuff and so accepted but now im thinking that if that was me i would do anything to be there and make some sort of plan.

Its just like everything comes before me.
I just had an awakening yest. in which someone asked me if this is what i wanted... i said no it isnt and they said '  then theres your answer.

I know for sure now that this is not the qualities that i want in a guy or future husband but i just love this guy so much!!!
How do i just leave him and get over it...I' v had so much sadness already its like i dont want any more.Although i do get it while with him too at least hapiness follows.

On the other hand im also scared of being alone and not having that someone special to confide in and tell about my day or any of those other silly things.He was also the first guy that i slept with which makes it hurt even more thinking about leaving him.
I do love him but he' s not good for me and im trying to accept that but find it difficult.

How do i get through this and how do i tell him its over when i really dont want it to be but need to do it.
Should we remain frnds afterwards or should i cut it off compl.
I cant think of how im going to do things on my own either as he has helped me alot.
But mostly i do so LOVE him and cant picture what my life would be without him.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like you're in love, not with the actual guy himself, but with a fantasy of what h e might be like IF he made major changes in his personality and behaviour --- which he isn't likely to do. op makes good sense --- have a calm heart-to-heart talk about all this, and decide together whether you can revise the relationship so it becomes more satisfying for both of you ( maybe with the help of a relationship counsellor ) or whether you end it in a friendly fashion and both move on.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: lerato | 2008-12-03

he is useless and doesn' t respect you at all.

Reply to lerato
Posted by: HEheheh | 2008-12-02

He forgets? Wow what a man u have!!!

Reply to HEheheh
Posted by: Kelly | 2008-12-02

Well i have speoken to him on numerous occasions and therefore i have come to realise that he just dsnt give a damn about what i think or how important these things are to me.I mean its just common decency to inform me of things and to let me know if plans change but he says because of the type of work he does, things just happen any min. and then he forgets or looses track of time.While im sitting waiting on him.

So we have spoken about this and still it continues...

Reply to Kelly
Posted by: op | 2008-12-01

Why dont you sit him down and tell him whats bothering you? If you want to be with this guy you should learn to communicate. Trust me if you cant do this then the relationship will fail. To me it sounds as if he doesnt put you first. Its just a common courtesy to let someone know if you will be late. You need to sit down and think about this. Are you prepared to just settle for second best just because you dont want to be alone? Surely you were fine before you met him? What kinds of things has he been doing for you that you cant do for yourself?

Reply to op
Posted by: Me | 2008-12-01

Are you Kelly Khumalo?

Reply to Me

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