Our expert says:
Getting married doesn't mean that one gives up all of one's freedom, of course - but it does mean that we choose, if we are serious about marriage, to temper and select how we exercise that freedom, by taking seriously into account the freedom of one's partner, too.
There seems to be an emphasis among some people, NOT on forming a mature relationship within marriage, but on "getting married" for various trivial reasons - to satisfy parents and relatives, to feel as though maybe one is more mature, whatever - but with the assumption that one can basically carry on one's bachelor life style ( "parties and fun" ) unchanged, and irrespective of whether one has at least claimed to be taking on new responsibilities towards one's partner.
It doesn't sound as though this current husband feels there is any neet at all to change what he seems to see as a blameless and eternal way of life on his part.
Why should i be asumed that you must change to become "the woman he wants", and that he shouldn't change to become "the man that you want "? Why should you accept his childish devotion to parties and getting frunk and neglecting you, as OK ?
Don't sell yourself short ; hav for yourself the respect he can't be bothered to show. See a counsellor if necessary, to learn self-esteem and to work out what is genuinely best for you. He'll take care of himself, as usual.
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