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Question
Posted by: worried wife | 2011-10-09

Need help!

Hi

Been married for 27 years - not compatible, very different characters - have 2 wonderful grown up children - seem to both have come to a cross roads in our lives - communication non existent and always has been - seem to be making each other miserable - had some really wonderful times together but it all seems to be crashing down - just moved house &  province - some times it seems rather make a break and go our seperate ways but I always hope for a miracle and tell myself that things will improve. Please help!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Not compatible, yet you have endured the relationship for 27 years. Sometimes it seems its only after the children grow and leave, that a couple actually face issues of incompatibility. After the immense investment you have both made into the relationship so far, why not agree to see a marriage counsellor together, to clarify the issues, and whether they are soluble and worth solving ? Marriage counsellors should never see their role as glue, to stick any relationship together, but to also enable people to part more wisely and fruitfully if that is the best thing to do

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Romany | 2011-10-10

You say you want " things to improve" . Maybe make a list of what it is that you want to improve and take this with you to the councillor.
27 years is a long time...... I would give it my best shot if I were you. " 
" Seperate ways"  can be extremely lonely. And please do not think your children will fill the voids. That is selfish. They now have their own lives to live.
Good luck.........

Reply to Romany
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-10-09

Not compatible, yet you have endured the relationship for 27 years. Sometimes it seems its only after the children grow and leave, that a couple actually face issues of incompatibility. After the immense investment you have both made into the relationship so far, why not agree to see a marriage counsellor together, to clarify the issues, and whether they are soluble and worth solving ? Marriage counsellors should never see their role as glue, to stick any relationship together, but to also enable people to part more wisely and fruitfully if that is the best thing to do

Reply to cybershrink

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