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Question
Posted by: ladybird | 2009/10/26

need help

i hope someone can help me.

i love my husband but he just does' nt turn me on......what do i do if he touches me i want to pull away and when we make love i just want to get it over with. he' s starting to feel this and wants to know why? any suggestions? please

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Sexual intimacy is a special way to explore and extend one another’s love. The fact that you are experiencing this desire to pull away or get the “job” over and done should be explored. What is going through your head? What is happening between the two of you that could be changed? When discomfort like you are describing is experienced, it is time to do some real exploring. The assistance of a professional psychologist that works with sexual concerns could be valuable. You are furthermore welcome to visit our website – www.sexualhealth.co.za – sexual assignments the sensate focus technique. These exercises are often used to restore intimacy between partners.


You are welcome to phone our helpline – 0860100262 where you could be assisted in finding a practitioner as close as possible to you.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: sexologist | 2009/10/28

Sexual intimacy is a special way to explore and extend one another’s love. The fact that you are experiencing this desire to pull away or get the “job” over and done should be explored. What is going through your head? What is happening between the two of you that could be changed? When discomfort like you are describing is experienced, it is time to do some real exploring. The assistance of a professional psychologist that works with sexual concerns could be valuable. You are furthermore welcome to visit our website – www.sexualhealth.co.za – sexual assignments the sensate focus technique. These exercises are often used to restore intimacy between partners.


You are welcome to phone our helpline – 0860100262 where you could be assisted in finding a practitioner as close as possible to you.

Reply to sexologist
Posted by: ladybird | 2009/10/27

lady man when i got married i had no baggage and we did not have the issues we have now. u are obviously not older than 18 because u have no clue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please leave the serious stuff to the adults and find yourself some thing to do.

Reply to ladybird
Posted by: Lady man | 2009/10/27

Woman I say the same to you. Hope you have a happy day.

LADYBIRD why did you marry your husband if he did not turn you on.

Reply to Lady man
Posted by: Woman | 2009/10/26

Ooo, ladyman, you are obviously thinking with your prick again. You know I have no time for you, because you live in 1822. And with that attitude, I don' t know what you' re doing on a sexual health site!! Take your chauvinistic idiotic utterances somewhere else if you don' t mind, and let the adults talk. There' s a good boy.

Ladybird, you and your hubby need to go for some counseling. Your lucky, if it was my husband, he wold have been out on his ear! But it' s not strange that you would be cold, you' ve obviously not sorted this out yet.

Communicate with each other please, that is what people in healthy relationships do.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Lady man | 2009/10/26

Yes I think you do hold a grudge. You can only blame yourself that your husband wondered and look for it from someone else. Maybe you are the that gets it on the outside and that is why you are feeling cold to your husband. Think hard who is to blame for your troubles.

Reply to Lady man
Posted by: ladybird | 2009/10/26

thanx 3000 i dont know what to feel or think. a year ago my husband wondered away and found someone else. my fault because i' m cold........he spilled the beans and told me everything i wanted to know every detail do u think this could be the problem????? am i holding a grudge?

Reply to ladybird
Posted by: 3000 | 2009/10/26

Do you know why you pull away or just want to get love making over asap? It sounds like you love you hub, but that you don' t luvvvvv him! My husband (in my eyes) is the sexiest man on the planet and I' ve seen him in this light ever since I realised I was falling in love with him. Our sex life is not always earth shatteringly amazing or orgasmic but we can feel the love between us. Maybe you need to ask yourself how you really feel. Why doesn' t he turn you on? What or who does turn you on? Maybe you are not sexually in tune with eachother and need to simply talk about fantasies or other things you could perhaps share in the bedroom?? Perhaps when he has the desire to make love you aren' t in the mood or are tired / stressed from work ...when you know what it is that makes you feel this way, try talking to him, explain your feelings / actions (in the nicest way possible) and try to find a solution together.

Reply to 3000
Posted by: Sinki | 2009/10/26

You got it outside the marriage hey.... i suspect that there must be something he did that you never full forgiven him.

Reply to Sinki

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