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Question
Posted by: desperate | 2008/06/04

NEED CHARACTER CHANGE

Good day.
I'm a 24yr old female. I'm fortunate with a lot of things in my life, good friends, good family, good relationship and a nice home. I've always had many sets of friends and always tried 2 be a good helpful friend. I am also a person who cant tolerate dishonesty whil i consider myself dishonest also. I've recently had fights with my friends, the 1 because i felt that she spoke to me in a disrespectful way and now we fighting, this morning i've almost made an end 2 another gud friendship, argued and ended up saying how i dont trust anything she says. Basically i'm finding it hard 2 keep things 2 myself if sum1 hurts me and now i'm losing all my friends. and at the tim i think 2 myself that 'she/he' is not a true friends then, or if i should get mad then i decide that whoever is responsible for my skipping a heartbeat is not worth it and that whatever we had can end jst like that. I'm very sad, tried to listen to some gospel music with hope to find peace with myself, i need to change my character, and dont know how, all i can do now is cry but i sort of need a formula that will keep me a better person everytime this ugly person inside me comes out. Please kindly advice.
Kind Regards...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds more like you need a change of style and interaction / relationship skills, than a change of personality. Maybe expecting a bit more than is realistic from others, and then rejecting them for the sin of being ordinary like the rest of us. <br>As John says, recognizing that you need to change is the essential first step without which progress would have been impossible. So well done, so far. Counselling, especially of the CBT type, is well able to help you learn to change your behaviour and assumptions in life so as to better achieve your goals

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: John | 2008/06/04

Your acknowledgement that you need to make internal improvements is a major step forward and for that alone, you should pat yourself on the back. Self-improvement is a life-long process and it is probabel that you will not reach a stage where you sya: 'There, thats perfect' while gazing in a mirror.

I do not think it is a bad thing to speak out for yourelf when wronged. Perhaps you need to modify the manner of your presentation, so that you do not damage a relationship you would like to keep. Sometimes some people are not worth keeping as friends and it is possibly inevitable that you will shed friendships as you personally grow. It may be that you need to sharpen up on your negotiation skills, or interpersonal skills, so that you are more aware (and therefore more in control) of any situation of conflcit or discord.

Reply to John
Posted by: ! | 2008/06/04

U need to attend anger management course,ur too short tempered for their liking.Whenever u feel angry,breath deeply and think twice before u say anything to someone...that might help!

Reply to !

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